Your Heart Is A Mess
by Shady Love
Summary: From a young age, Morgana is given to King Uther to be his ward as punishment for her father's unsuccessful rebellion. At the same time, Merlin escapes Camelot with his mother during the Great Purge. Years later, he comes back as Arthur's manservant and crosses paths with the young girl he laid eyes on years ago. Mergana; rating may change.
1. Loved from a Distance

**Chapter 1**

**A/N: Let's see here- I have two other stories going on, one yet to finish, the other one recently a sequel… and I'm starting a new story. I have to say, the Comic Con pictures of Colin and Katie were making me so giddy, that I've been inspired. For all you **_**Keep Me Forever**_** fans who simply**_** cannot**_** wait for the Mergana action, then wait no longer- this story is pure Mergana. I think you'll love this!**

**This isn't going to be very canon but I hope you appreciate it anyway!**

* * *

"Are you ready?"

The little girl nodding, fighting tears the whole time. She pressed her lips into a hard line and swallowed back the lump in her throat. She willed herself not to cry in front of her father, show that she hadn't forgotten his blood still flowed in her veins- Le Fays were strong and showed no sign of weakness, even if in times of hardship. And this was one of those times.

Gorlois Le Fay smiled at his only daughter. It was a sad smile, because he could tell she wanted to let her emotions run free and a single tear from him would mean a thousand from her. He put on a pleased face and surveyed her up and down. "You look beautiful, my girl. Very much so."

Morgana Le Fay forced a smile in return, nervously touching the ends of her black waves, dressed in her finest silks. She was very young, but her beauty was inevitable; raven-haired with eyes the color of pale emerald, skin as if she was carved from marble. The apple of her father's eye and loved by all in what was once a successful, flourishing kingdom of the Le Fays, now shamed and belonging to another.

"You remember why this must be done, my darling?" asked Gorlois, keeping his voice controlled. Any slight shake and he would mess it all up.

Morgana nodded. "You want to earn back King Uther Pendragon's trust."

"Very good, Morgana," her father nodded approvingly, "Do you know why we need his trust in us?"

"So… you can have an alliance."

"Correct, my daughter. Very correct."

Silently, she praised herself, but it was short-lived. There was one aspect to this plan that Morgana had yet to understand; why did she have to be Uther's ward for Gorlois to earn his kingdom back and come back from exile? It seemed more to her that she was held captive, not a guest of his. _My father said he was sorry_, Morgana thought to herself, _Why is that not enough for Uther? Why must he make him suffer? Will he make me suffer?_

"Have you packed everything?" Gorlois interrupted Morgana's thoughts. "The men outside are loading up our belongings as we speak."

Morgana scanned her room. It was pretty empty, save for her bed, mirror, and closet. She had packed as much as she could, all her necessities and a few treasures she held close to her. "Yes, Father."

"Very well, then. I suppose it is time for us to go."

The goodbyes were short and tearful. Morgana put on a brave face as the people of Gorlois's former kingdom saw them off, some yelling out in support, most crying and begging with whoever would listen for them not to leave. She responded with a small wave and weak smile before she was mounted on her white horse and followed her father and the rest of their company.

"You will see them soon," Gorlois promised. "In a few years, I assure you of that. When Uther sees that my rebellion against him was a mistake and I have paid for my sins, he will give us our kingdom back and we will go home."

"I know," Morgana murmured, staring straight ahead. A few years… what would she be expected to do for a few years away from her father? She would be a stranger in that city, with no one to talk to, no friends or family to be there for her. Just a king who would be cruel enough to separate daughter and father like this.

It was a one and a half day trip to Camelot, though Morgana and Gorlois would part ways halfway through. Uther was sending Gorlois to exile on some unknown island off the land of the kingdoms where he would be treated as a prisoner. Her father rose in rebellion against Uther when he forcefully took the throne with a sword in hand and fierce determination. He may have won the throne but he had not be entitled to it and so Gorlois rebelled. But Uther was strong and he defeated her father easily. Desperate, Gorlois pleaded for mercy. They came to a reluctant agreement- Morgana would stay as a ward of Uther's and her father in exile until the king decided when it would be right to give the kingdom back to them and let them go home. A few years had been the promise; but what would be the reality?

When they made their stops, Morgana did not eat nor take naps. She could barely stomach anything solid. Even small sips of water made her nauseous. The idea that she would no longer see her father after her tomorrow for a long time frightened her. After her mother had died, all Morgana had was Gorlois and they were taking him away too. This wasn't fair, it wasn't right. Yet, it was happening.

The next morning, she was shaken awake after her fitful sleep. Morgana's dreams haunted her as she mounted her horse again and trailed after her father back on the road. She had dreamt of terrible things, men clad in armor and running and slashing at women, children being thrown into wells of water until their breaths ran out...

"This is where we part," Gorlois announced after a few hours. "Look, my daughter, they are coming for you." Morgana stopped her horse and looked on to see two men dressed in chainmail with red capes around their necks riding towards their traveling pack. She sucked in a breath, recognizing the crest of Camelot gleaming on their fabric. Her father had shown it to her; they were Uther's men.

"You won't come with me?" she asked softly, knowing it was no use to try.

"I fear I cannot," Gorlois sighed, "Half of our pack must accompany me to the island, which is the second path. Yours is the first, to Camelot."

The knights approached the pack, looking cool and composed. "Morgana Le Fay," the one on the left said, "We are to escort you to Camelot."

"I understand," Morgana said quietly.

"Gorlois Le Fay," the one on the right announced, "You and your half of the company must travel to Pike Island, where you will stay in exile until the king decides to free you. Until then, Morgana will remain under his watch, as his new ward, and he will be her guardian. Do you agree with these terms?"

Gorlois nodded his head, a bitter look replacing in his eyes. "Have I any option to disagree, I would in a heartbeat."

"Do so at your own risk, Le Fay," the left knight sneered. "We can make your death a quick and painless one." Morgana gasped loudly at this.

"I agree," Gorlois pressed, casting eyes onto her. "Just allow me to say goodbye to my daughter."

"You have one minute."

It was shorter than a minute. Gorlois made the same promise over and over again, that they would reunite soon and become a family again. When she hugged him, a knight had to pry her away and when she looked back, her father's eyes were shining. "Go on, little girl," he had said to her, his final words. Morgana did not turn her eyes away until she could barely make them out, going in the opposite direction.

On the road to Camelot, Morgana cried freely in front of her half of the group and the knights. They did not offer up any words of comfort, nor did they even speak to her. Just once, a knight said, "There, there, girl," in a bored voice, as if he didn't care about her at all. Morgana would have told these men she had a name and they would call her that. Not "girl". But she was too brokenhearted to even try being defiant.

They arrived late afternoon, the tall towers of Camelot peeking out from the sea of trees. Morgana stared up in awe at the structure of the castle, its pristine-looking walls, tall and proud. It was much larger and much more prestigious than her former home, but it was not enough to change her mind. Morgana wiped her eyes and was ashamed at herself for crying. They were red and puffy and she would make a terrible first impression. Uther would never let her see Father if he saw her like this.

"Welcome to Camelot," said one knight, leading her and her pack into the citadel. She looked at the people of the city. Everyone appeared busy working or running around. She spotted more knights off in the distance, training. Maids and serving boys ran in and out of the entrance of the castle, carrying clothing, food, armor, and other supplies. Morgana may have been upset, but she certainly was intrigued by her sights.

The second knight stepped down from his horse and helped her off her own. "The king shall see you now," he informed. Morgana was about to walk with him when out of the corner of her eye, she saw a group of knights rounding up and leaving the square on their horses.

"Where are they going?" she asked.

"The king is pursuing anyone with magic. They have been sent on a mission," responded the knight. "Come, Lady Le Fay. King Uther and his son are waiting for you."

"Son?" Morgana repeated.

"Arthur Pendragon. He's about your age."

She was led up the stairs and into the castle, the knight at her side. "Why is Uther pursuing people with magic?" she asked curiously.

"You don't know? Magic is outlawed in Camelot, little lady. Anyone caught using it will be sentenced to death."

Morgana looked at him. "Why? What is so wrong with magic?"

"Don't let the king hear you say that now," the knight warned. "He has his reasons and we are not to question them."

_If only I were older_, Morgana wished. She would question it openly. It did not seem right to her at all.

They stopped in front of two large doors and the knight pushed them, revealing a large hall. "The throne room," he said, "Go inside now. And be on your best behavior!"

Rapidly inspecting herself, she took a few steps forward. There he was, clad all in black, a crown placed on his head. Blinking his gray eyes, his mouth formed into a smile as Morgana walked towards him. Doing what her father would advise her to do, Morgana lifted her skirt and bowed quickly. "My lord," she greeted.

"Morgana Le Fay," he said, the name rolling off his tongue, "So beautiful a girl you are." Uther took her small hand and planted a kiss on it. It made her feel more uncomfortable than at ease. "I hope your journey here was without trouble."

"I left my father, so there was some trouble," Morgana responded. For a little girl, she had a sharp tongue. The smile on Uther's face faded and he straightened. "Yes… well, besides that."

"Please, my lord," she went right away into begging, "Please don't punish my father so harshly. He is a good man and he knows what he did was wrong. Let him free, he won't rebel again, I promise!"

Uther shook his head and sighed. "You are so young, you wouldn't understand these matters. No harm will come to Gorlois, child. But no bad act goes unpunished in my rules and he chose to go against me. For that, he will pay for his sins. You have done no wrong and you will be safe here until I free him."

"_Will_ you free him?" Morgana pressed.

"I have said I will." The king sounded impatient now. "I had not realized you would be this… spirited."

"I take after my father in that sense."

"Indeed. Well, best I let the maids lead you to your room then. I hope you would kindly do me the honor of joining me for dinner later this evening with my son, Arthur."

Morgana looked up at him. "If I am not too tired from my trip."

"Let's hope not." Uther was no longer smiling. Morgana left the throne room, a bit shaken. He scared her to no end, no matter how much she sassed him. If he could exile her father, God knew what he would do to her.

A young maid escorted her to her new bedchambers. It was larger and grander than her old one. "I hope you'll find it comfortable here, my lady," said the girl nervously, twisting her fingers together. "I cleaned up as best as I could, but if you don't like it, I swear I'll fix-"

"It's wonderful," Morgana said kindly.

The girl looked relieved. "Oh, thank goodness…"

"You look my age," Morgana pointed out. "What's your name?"

"Guinevere, my lady. But you can call me Gwen. Everyone does, it all started with my father calling me that. My friends do too," the girl rambled. Her hands went up to tidy the curls pulled up on her head. She was very pretty. Morgana decided Gwen would be her first friend here.

"Very nice to meet you, Gwen," she smiled, "I'm Morgana."

"I know… I mean, yes, very pleased to meet you too!" Gwen blushed madly. "Forgive me, my lady. I've only recently begun working as a maid, normally I help my father. He's a blacksmith for the king and…" She took a breath. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"Nothing," Morgana shook her head. "Just a moment's peace. I want to rest before I have to dine with the king tonight."

"Yes, yes, of course! Call me whenever you need me!" Gwen curtsied quickly before hurrying out of the room. _I hope she does not fear me_, Morgana thought to herself, walking over to her bed. _She is my first friend here, I need one. _The ward lay down on her side and closed her eyes. Lately, she'd been having trouble getting a good night's sleep. Her dreams were clear and vivid and had her lurching from her bed, screaming. Morgana prayed it would not happen, at least not for a small nap.

_Killings… blood everywhere. Swords slicing through the air, aimed at men, women, and children without a care who it stabbed first. Screams filled the atmosphere, fires burned down tents, people running about, calling out and pleading with the knights in armor…_

_And then a boy… a tall boy, older than her, walking a familiar-looking path… he had blue eyes and messy black hair, and ears that stuck out a bit. Who was he? Where was he going?_

"My lady."

Morgana woke up suddenly, Gwen whispering at her to wake up. "Uther requires your presence for dinner," she informed. "Shall I help you get ready?" For a moment, the ward was disoriented. Then she nodded and got up, letting Gwen draw her a bath as she picked out her most presentable dress.

_If I'm going to be here for a few years_, she told herself, _I shall be on my best behavior. Maybe then Uther will see that the Le Fays are good people and he will let us go home._

And while she was at it, get a sleeping draught from the court physician. Anything to stop these strange and at times, horrifying dreams.

_Who was that boy?_

* * *

He had seen her earlier today- a small girl with black hair, green eyes, and pale skin. She was the prettiest thing he had ever laid his eyes on, that much was safely said. According to the whispers of the townsfolk, her name was Morgana Le Fay and she would be the king's ward. He had spied on her as much as he could before she disappeared into the castle, a place his mother would never let him sneak inside.

"We have a long journey tomorrow, Merlin," said Hunith, looking expectantly at her younger son across the table. Merlin played with his dinner, thinking of the girl again. It wasn't fair; she finally arrived in Camelot and now he had to leave?

"Why do we have to go?" he whined, hating himself for sounding childish.

"My son, how many times must I explain? We cannot stay here any longer," his mother sighed, "Your father left before you were born, it was not safe for him here. It is no longer safe for you either, now that you cannot control your magic."

"I can so," Merlin argued. "And even if I can't, I can learn."

"From who, Merlin? No one in their right mind would risk their lives to guide you. I myself have trouble doing so."

Merlin exhaled deeply. His mother did have a point. Uther's persecution of people with magic meant they could not live in Camelot anymore- he did not know what to do with his magic and he was still young, he could get caught.

There were times he wanted to get caught. Arthur liked to bully children in the lower town with his knights by his side. He thought just because he was the king's son, he could do anything he wanted. If only he knew of Merlin's skills… would he regret it then, him and his mischievous blue eyes and arrogant blond head… and now he got to stay with Uther's ward and he didn't.

"Where are we going again?" he asked his mother.

"A village called Ealdor," she responded, "It's a long way off but I'm sure you'll like it there."

"Maybe." Merlin scratched the bottom of his plate with his fork. "Mother, will we ever come back?"

Hunith paused. "I don't know, my son," she admitted. "Once these persecutions stop, maybe we will. But for now, we will be endangering ourselves and you especially if we stay any longer."

"I want to meet the ward," Merlin announced, "The pretty girl with the black hair. Did you see her, Mother?"

"I did, my love. And she is lovely. Maybe someday you shall see her."

"Why does Arthur get to meet her? He's such a…" the boy stopped himself. He was starting to sound jealous and his mother always told him never to express such negative emotions.

Hunith looked pained. "Please, Merlin, don't speak like that. Eat your supper and head on off to bed now. We've got a long day ahead of us."

Merlin looked at his meal and did as she told him, forcing it down his throat even if he wasn't hungry. It wasn't fair at all- he had to be born with magic in a place where the king hated it and could kill him for it… and now he wouldn't even get to meet the most beautiful girl in the world. Yes, it was decided. Morgana Le Fay was the most beautiful girl in the world. His mother must have thought him to be silly but one look, and Merlin felt as though he was in love. He could almost swear she saw him too in the square earlier that day.

_Someday_, he told himself, _someday I'll come back. For her._

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**A/N: So, what's the verdict, Mergana fans? Like it? Love it? Anticipating the next chapter? Please review! I would appreciate your feedback very much! And so would Merlin and Morgana, just saying…**


	2. Slowly Breaking Down

**Chapter 2**

**A/N: You guys are fantastic! Love the feedback this story is getting, I am definitely motivated to continue! Because of the positive reception, enjoy this second chapter as an early gift of my thanks!**

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A teenage Morgana glanced out of her window, watching Arthur in the middle of a swarm of knights, fighting them off with his sword. He swung at them fiercely, growing stronger every day with his constant training and practice. A smile touched on her lips as she remembered when they were kids and used to have pretend sword fights. Uther did not mind it much at first but when Morgana accidentally swiped at Arthur's arm and made him bleed, he forbade her from ever picking up a sword again and he confined her to her chambers for three days by herself. She was not to speak to anyone, save for Gwen who would bring her food and drink and tidy up her room. That had been added to the collection of lonely moments that were the makeup of Morgana's life.

"It's such a lovely day for a walk," Gwen spoke brightly just as she finished making the ward's bed, "Won't you like to get dressed and go outside for a little bit?"

"Not now, Gwen," Morgana murmured, "Uther doesn't like it when I leave the castle without his permission."

"Oh… oh, I see…" Gwen sounded uncomfortable then. "Well… perhaps I should ask him! It would be a crime to deny a walk, the air is clean, the sun is out-"

"Maybe some other time." Morgana knew very well Uther would laugh in Gwen's face and order her out than to permit the request of a mere serving girl, even if Morgana had asked her to do so. Of course she could have asked Uther herself, but over the years, Morgana had made a habit of avoiding the king as much as she could. It was proving to be impossible as she grew older. Uther talked over her, put her down all the time, and thought he could make up for it with halfhearted apologies and endless compliments of her beauty. But he was abusive- he spoke harshly, grabbed her tight enough to leave marks on her skin, and when it pleased him, would touch her in places she preferred he wouldn't. No one knew, not even Gwen, though Morgana had an aching suspicion that Arthur had an idea about it. What could the prince do? Uther was a tyrant and he had no say in any matters, at least until he took the throne.

"Alright, then… what would you like to do today?" Gwen asked, her voice cheerful and light. She was one of the few people who made Morgana's life bearable in Camelot. Her, Arthur, and the knight who had told her to be on her best behavior years ago- Gwaine was his name, a young, cheeky man who found amusement in every situation. Morgana found he did not have such a cold exterior; it was his way of humoring newcomers to the city, at least until they got to know him well. He was rather young to be a knight, maybe a few years older than Arthur, though less obedient. Gwaine did not like to play by the rules but he was skilled and his strength was useful to Uther.

"I think I'm just going to sit down and read something," Morgana decided, turning away from her window,

"Of course," Gwen nodded, "Can I get you anything? You hardly touched your breakfast this morning, maybe I can get you something sweet from the kitchens?"

Morgana smiled weakly. "No thank you, Gwen, I'm not hungry. I'll call for you if I need anything."

"Please do! I'm just going to quickly gather up your clothes for laundering." Gwen set about to her job and curtsied before leaving Morgana alone in her room. Some days, that's how Morgana liked it- to be alone so no one could see the tears. And there had been many tears as time had passed.

Morgana had been living as Uther's ward for close to seven years now. It was well over the two or three she was promised when she first came to live as his ward. Her father was still trapped on Pike Island, and very rarely had he responded to any of her letters. Morgana used to send him letters nearly every day, up until the moment Uther decided to personally handle the post. Her heart sank when she thought of the volumes she had written that the king had said he sent but really didn't. The ones he did send, however, were met with vague responses that faked optimism. Gorlois was nothing but an honest, good man and Morgana was positive Uther was writing his own letters, threatening him to stay cheery despite these dark situations. She remembered his last letter from months ago well: _Can't say much here, except that it'll be just a little bit longer now. I am well here and hope you are too. You be a good girl now and listen to Uther. I love you, my dear Morgana. –Gorlois Le Fay_

The king's ward did not even pick up her book. She went back to her window, sighing as she saw Gwaine step up to fight Arthur. The sight of them made her want to break out of her room and join them, but she knew very well how that would end. Uther did not like it when she spent too much time with other men, particularly his son or Gwaine. He was jealous, that much was clear, but he had no reason to be. Morgana had found herself incapable of producing an ounce of romantic feelings for anyone. Gwaine and Arthur were like brothers to her. He had nothing to be jealous about, and yet he was.

_If I didn't know better_, she thought to herself, _Uther plans to marry me so he can have me all to himself. But that is not the promise. I've been good, he will release me soon._ Morgana watched until Arthur struck Gwaine down (she was sure he was letting him win) and called the end of training for today. She looked away then, at her table and saw that her bottle of sleeping draught was almost empty. _Time to see Gaius for another one._

Besides Gwen, Arthur, and Gwaine, Morgana had grown quite close to the court physician, an old man named Gaius. Gaius was Uther's most trusted advisor and a very knowledgeable man. Morgana first met him when she complained of not being able to sleep at night and Uther asked of Gaius to make a sleeping draught for her. Through this, Morgana had been able to confide in him, about the dreams that prevented a comfortable sleep. The draughts did not help much, mostly just left a sour taste in her mouth. Even though it was not sufficient enough, it was good to be able to speak to someone about how these dreams were bothering her.

Taking the bottle in her hands, Morgana left her chambers, looking left and right to make sure Uther was not nearby. Certain all was safe, the ward made her down the corridor to the physician's chambers. She approached the door and knocked twice before peeking her head inside. "Gaius?"

She spotted the old man reading through his papers, wearing his glasses and looking distracted. He lifted his head smiled warmly at Morgana, rising from his seat. "Lady Morgana," he greeted, taking off the glasses, "How may I help you?"

Morgana showed him the empty bottle. "I need a refill."

Gaius took the bottle from her. "Of course, wait one moment." He walked away from her and went to the mess of bottles all over one of his tables, picking around for the right one. When he found it, clear purple liquid inside a tiny bottle, he took it and turned around to hand it to her. "I was thinking you might come around for a new one," Gaius said.

Morgana smiled at him, feeling at ease. She always did around Gaius. "You time it carefully."

"I know the dosages well. Have they been working out for you at all?" the old man asked.

"A little bit," she half-lied, biting her lip, "But sometimes… the dreams are so… real. So vivid. Almost like I'm seeing some twisted future. And then the boy… I keep seeing him, Gaius, and I've never seen him before in my life."

Gaius furrowed his brow. "The one walking up a path?"

"Black hair, blue eyes," Morgana confirmed. "I don't know him, have never met him, ever. I don't even think he lives in Camelot. What could it be?"

"The mind is a strange thing, Morgana," Gaius started, "I doubt that even many years into the future, anyone can truly understand what goes on in our heads. What causes us to have strange dreams, to see things before they happen…"

"Or while they happen," Morgana spoke up, "I've become sure that the dreams besides the boy are of Uther's men chasing after people with magic and killing them."

Gaius looked uneasy. "Indeed… but don't worry too much about the boy, I'm sure it'll go away."

_It's been seven years. He won't go away, and the dream never changes…_ "Thank you, Gaius," Morgana said, smiling gratefully.

"My pleasure, my lady. Come visit anytime you like."

"I will make sure to." Morgana thanked him again before leaving his chambers and walking back down to hers. This time, she was not so careful when looking out for anyone.

"There you are!" She turned around to see Arthur walking towards her, to her relief. Another smile crept up on her lips. "Arthur! Were you looking for me?"

"Yeah, I didn't see you this morning, thought I would just have breakfast in my chambers." Arthur rolled his blue eyes. "I swear, I'm going to have my servant's head. All the ones father has hired for me are incompetent at best. You're so lucky you have Gwen."

"Not planning on giving her up anytime soon!" Morgana teased. "But seriously Arthur, maybe you shouldn't be so hard on your manservants."

"Maybe they should do a decent day's work!" Arthur countered arrogantly. Morgana shook her head at him. They bantered like siblings but they were close. Arthur was hardly anything like his father. He was a kind person, once you got past the layers and layers of pretentiousness. "Anyway, I wanted to come see if you would join me for a ride this morning. It's a nice day and I haven't taken my horse out in a while."

Morgana felt her smile fade. It was a rare occasion she was allowed to ride with Arthur. "I don't think today's a good day."

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun!" Arthur pressed. "If you're worried about bandits, I'll take care of them! I'll invite Gwaine too, he'd love a good race."

Even worse. Morgana swallowed before reluctantly declining his offer again. "No, no, another day. I didn't get much sleep last night and am not feeling too well." She held up the bottle of draught for emphasis.

Arthur looked discouraged. "I could talk to Father, if that's it," he said quietly, "He can't say no all the time. He has to let you out."

Easy for Arthur to say. He was Uther's son, a male, and soon to be king. He had to go out and gain a lot of experience- Morgana was just the king's ward. A pretty figure to stand around and jump when she was told to jump.

"Don't trouble yourself, Arthur," she murmured, "We both know it's no use."

The prince sighed. "It'll get better," he promised. "I swear it. Father will come around, and everything will be alright."

"I hope so." No use in that either. Smiling one last time, Morgana turned and walked away from Arthur, waiting until she was back in her chambers to let her tears flow freely. Arthur was allowed to hope all he wanted. She had given up a long time ago. She no longer prayed she would live to see the day her life would brighten up.

What was the point? Seven years, and no change, just getting worse every moment Morgana spent in this castle. Would it _ever _get better?

* * *

"Look out!"

Merlin turned his head up but it was too late. A rock smacked him in the face, too quick for him to react. "Ow!" he screeched, firmly pressing a hand against where the rock at struck him. He felt a warm trickle of blood on his palm.

"Sorry!" yelled the boy who had thrown the rock. Him and his friends ran to see if he was okay, until they got a good look at who the rock at hit. "Oh… it's the freak." The boy smirked, a boy named John that Merlin barely knew. He liked to pick on newcomers and had been a bother to Merlin ever since he had his mother had arrived at Ealdor.

"What's a matter, freak? Did the rock get you good on your eye? Are you blind now?" John and his friends laughed. They were teenage boys, just like Merlin, yet they had nothing better to do than to pick on him like they were still small children.

"Shut up," Merlin grumbled, standing up to walk away.

"Don't walk away from me, you freak!" John yelled, ready to gang up on him. "I'm not finished with you yet." Merlin felt his face heat up in anger and he prepared himself to unleash it, in the form of his magic. John did not know what was coming for him…

"Back off, John." Merlin turned around to see his friend Will sticking up for him.

"Protecting your little girlfriend, are you, William?" John scrunched up his nose in disgust.

"Leave him alone, will you? Go be a prat somewhere else," Will snapped, glaring angrily at John. Merlin's face flushed again, this time of embarrassment. It usually did when Will or his mother stuck up for him when he couldn't.

"Whatever. I'll get you next time, freak," John spat nastily. He and his friends walked away, sneering at Merlin. Will rolled his eyes and turned to look at his friend. "Alright there, Merlin?"

"Fine," the boy muttered, wiping the blood running down just above his right eyebrow. He winced at how it stung.

"Might want to get your mum to look at that," Will advised.

"No way. She'll just start in on how I shouldn't get into fights with the boys." Merlin walked over to the nearby well and cupped his palm in the water, using it to wash the blood of his forehead.

"John was trying to start it. Besides, it's not like you were going to fight him or anything."

"Will, I was this close to using my magic to make him back off."

"You should have. Someone needs to put the bastard in his place," Will muttered.

"Yeah, well, it won't be me. Not if I don't want my mother having my head for it." Merlin breathed out a sigh and looked towards his home. "I should get going, my mother's probably waiting for me."

"Good idea. It's almost dinnertime, anyway. I'll see you around, you troublemaker," Will said, grinning at him. Merlin laughed and parted ways with his only friend. Though he wanted to protect himself on his own, Merlin had promised Hunith he would never use magic for situations like that. The deal with John and his friends was petty and not life-threatening at all. Will seemed to be the only one who could make him leave them alone, mostly because John figured Merlin never stood up for himself. But he would… if he could.

About seven years had passed since Merlin and Hunith escaped Camelot. They had settled in a village named Ealdor, out of Uther's kingdom, where to start anything would declare war. Though Uther was most likely still pursuing innocent lives, he had stopped searching this village and left the people at peace. Merlin did not think of him highly at all- why should he? His hatred for magic meant he hated him too and people like him. He was the reason they no longer lived in the city.

And the reason why Merlin never got to meet the Lady Morgana…

He still hadn't forgotten her. The only way he could remember her was as a little girl and it made his heart thump to think how beautiful she was now. Hunith had said they would go back to Camelot someday, but it appeared she was enjoying her quiet, simple life at Ealdor and had no intention of going back. For the most part, Merlin liked it in the village too- but he felt so suppressed when it came to his magic. And no one could help him, not even his own mother.

Hunith had fussed when she saw the bruise above his right eyebrow and set about to properly cleaning it. When Merlin mentioned Will sticking up for him, she smiled but it didn't stay long.

"I wish you would let me use my magic," he muttered, moving his head away to look at her. "It's so humiliating. They called me his 'girlfriend'."

Hunith sighed. "You're above them, Merlin. You're better than them. Don't let their words get to you so much, my son."

"You think it's possible? It's suffocating, not being able to show who I am to everyone. Tell them not to mess with me, that I'm not nothing and I can stick up for myself," Merlin argued.

His mother looked at him sadly and he closed his mouth. When he spoke like this, he upset her. Instead, he stayed quiet and sat down to dinner with her.

"You seem distracted tonight," Hunith commented. Merlin stabbed at the food on his plate with his fork, letting his mind wander again.

"Just thinking, that's all," he mumbled quietly.

Hunith observed her son. "Could it be your shifting through your memories and finding the one that has to do with Morgana?"

Merlin blushed for the third time that day. "Mother, _please_," he insisted. "It's weird enough I'm thinking about a little girl I saw years ago, you don't have to mention it out loud."

"She's no longer little now, a girl about your age," Hunith pointed out. "I'm surprised you remember her after all these years."

"I can't seem to get her out of my head," Merlin confessed, "There was something about her, Mother. I can't quite place what it was. But she's so… I can't imagine what she looks like now. I don't even know what she's like as a person and I still go mad over her."

"She was beautiful," Hunith agreed, "But probably not at Camelot anymore. Her stay was only supposed to be for a few years maximum."

Merlin exhaled. "I just wish I could see her now, see what she's like…"

Hunith smiled at her son fondly. "I always thought it was just a small child's crush."

"Trust me, I wish it was. I'm still waiting to get over it." Merlin had promised he'd go back to Camelot one day to meet the Lady Morgana because the sight of her enchanted him the day he saw her arrive when they were both kids. He felt silly. Why was he crushing on a girl he never talked to and hadn't seen in a long time? His mother thought he was crazy. Not that it mattered- Morgana was probably back with her father, in their own kingdom. And Merlin would forever remain in this tiny village, never to know the true potential of his capabilities.

Maybe, just maybe, Merlin would see her someday. He wished he could have spoken to her just once before he left Camelot, just so he would have more memories to grasp on to. Until then, the image of the little green-eyed girl was all he knew.

* * *

**A/N: Awww, Merlin and Morgana are meant to be and they don't even know it yet! Oh, the teenage angst, even in the Middle Ages… **

**Not much else to say here, except please keep reviewing! They make my heart flutter. Cheers times ten!**


	3. One Simple Glance

**Chapter 3**

_My dear Morgana,_

_Happy birthday to you, my daughter. I hope you are in good health and are treated well. I am sorry I could not be there to celebrate your special day with you. I have not seen you in many years but I know that when I do, you'll be a beautiful woman grown, just like your mother. Please accept this gift and forgive me for not being there with you. It belonged to your mother and I wanted to wait until you reached womanhood so that I could give it to you. It pains me that I could not in person. I want you to know that I miss you and love you and cannot wait till the day I see your smiling face again. _

_Love always,  
Gorlois Le Fay _

Morgana swallowed back the choking lump in her throat to prevent her tears from overflowing. The letter that had been delivered to her this morning was from her father. It was longer than two sentences, like all of Gorlois's annual birthday letters. With it came a parcel, his gift to her. In the past, Morgana had not received any gifts but the only one she wanted was to see her father. She thought she would get her wish this year.

Nevertheless, the woman carefully unwrapped the parcel, removing the strings at snail's pace, making this moment a dramatic one. She left her breakfast untouched as Gwen flew around her room, cleaning, laundering, fussing over which dress the ward should wear for her birthday feast tonight. Gwen had given Morgana's gift already- a silk scarf she saved up money to buy materials and sew for her. It was beautiful, much like all the other presents Gwen had given her over the years.

"We should decide how to do your hair as well," the maid was saying, sifting through the brightly colored gowns. "Something that would match whichever dress you choose to wear. Oh! And I still have to run you a bath! Goodness, we have so much to do!"

"Mmm." Morgana was only half-listening. She stared at the parcel on the table, worried she might break out into uncontrollable emotions once she saw the gift. It was once her mother's… what could it possibly be? When she could not take it anymore, Morgana tore into the package and gasped when she saw what it was.

"My lady? What is it?" Gwen dropped the gown and looked over at the woman. Morgana held up the bracelet between her fingers- it was small in size, white gold traced with silver. She stared at it in awe. It looked so new, so perfect. And it was hers now.

"That's a beautiful gift!" Gwen praised, smiling at her lady. "Your father?"

"Yes," Morgana replied, eyes glinting. She slipped the bracelet onto her right wrist. It fit nicely and hugged her wrist comfortably. "It was my mother's."

Gwen looked sympathetic. "That's wonderful. He passed it down to you for her. Very lovely. You should wear it tonight!"

Morgana smiled, the first time she genuinely smiled today. "I think I will!" It was then her eyes caught another note in the package. She unrolled it and read it:

_Morgana, this is called a Savior Bracelet, meant to ward off evil eyes. Your mother was rather fond of it and told me to give it to you before she died. I pray it keeps you safe. _

"Savior bracelet," she murmured, tracing the accessory on her arm. If that was so, then maybe Uther would keep his hands off of her and stay away from her. She could break out of this cold castle and run away back to her kingdom. But first, to Pike Island to save her father. Morgana looked up at Gwen. "I should be getting ready for tonight."

The maid's eyes lit up. "Yes! I shall run your bath right away!"

While she did, Morgana looked through her dresses on her own, pick the right one to match her bracelet…

"That's a nice bracelet, Morgana," Arthur commented that night, taking a drink of wine. He reached over and brushed it with his fingertips. "Did Gorlois send that?"

"He did," Morgana nodded her head once. She had made herself look especially radiant tonight, wearing a cream-colored dress and pulling her hair up to match her accessory. She had even worn make-up, something she did only when she absolutely had to.

"Seems Le Fay has some taste," Uther commented, not in a kind tone. He drained his cup of wine and ordered a serving boy to refill it.

Morgana's face flushed in anger. "It was my mother's," she said heatedly.

Arthur shot a disapproving look at his father. "And it's lovely, _right_, Father?" he pressed, blue eyes darkening.

"Yes, yes." Uther waved a hand. "Though it does not go with the necklace. And neither does your dress, for that matter. But I must admit, you look stunning tonight, Morgana. More than you normally do."

Morgana faked an appreciative smile, even though deep down, she was fuming with disgust. She felt the weight of the heavy emerald and silver necklace around her neck (Uther's gift) and felt like she was betraying her father by wearing it.

"You are not eating," the king observed. He scanned his ward's figure- she had lost a lot of weight over this and had grown quite thin. He felt annoyed. After all, Uther had requested the cooks to prepare all of Morgana's favorite foods tonight- meats glazed with sauces or cooked in a thick stew, fine white bread freshly baked and oiled, sweet red wine, and lastly, all her favorite desserts. Most of it went cold on her plate.

"I am," Morgana insisted. She forced a forkful of lemon cake down her throat. The tangy flavor made her feel sick. She faintly remember when she used to sneak lemon cakes from the kitchen with Arthur when they were kids. But Uther found _that_ out too. He was only tempting her now. "It's delicious."

"Damn right it is," Arthur said with his mouthful. He had eaten heartily tonight, as a king's son always did. Uther was satisfied with him, but not so much with Morgana. Big surprise there. "Remember when we used to steal these from the kitchens? Cook was ready to chop our heads off and serve them to the dogs! No wonder she only bakes these for special occasions."

Morgana offered up a small smile and shook her head. "It was so childish."

"Yes it was. Not a way for a lady to act," Uther said, nodding his head in approval.

"Whatever. We were kids." Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Not anymore." Uther lifted his cup to toast the both of them before drinking again. He had one too many it seemed, for throughout the evening, his knee kept knocking into Morgana's and at one point, so had his hands. This made her so uneasy, she was considering excusing herself though she never did all night.

"Wait," Arthur remembered something, putting down his fork. "I can't believe I forgot my gift to you!" He called for his servant to go get the present. "You're going to love this, Morgana."

"You haven't shown me her gift," Uther pointed out, looking coolly at his son.

"I wanted it to be a surprise! Besides…" Arthur grinned slyly. "You might get jealous at its beauty."

Morgana was confused until the servant brought back a box and gave it to Arthur. The prince passed it down to the ward. It was a very elaborately-designed box. "Open it," Arthur urged.

Smiling, she lifted the top and widened her eyes at the slick weapon that was his birthday present to her. She took out the dagger and admired its shine. The handle was gold and so was its cover. Perfect for her. "You're an original one, Arthur Pendragon," she chuckled. "It's lovely."

"And deadly," Arthur noted. "I figured you needed something to protect yourself with. That's a sharp one, I made sure of it. And of course, as feminine looking as possible. Fit for a lady. Don't you agree, Father?"

Uther looked displeased the whole time. "It's pretty, but it is not fit for a lady, Arthur. Look at it. She'll cut her own fingers off."

"I will not!" Morgana gasped. "I'm careful!"

Arthur furrowed his brow. "Morgana's pretty skilled with weapons, more so than any woman I know."

"She does not need a weapon, she has you and she has me to protect her," Uther pushed, holding a hand out. Morgana's smile dropped from her face and she hesitantly gave the dagger to Uther. He weighed it in his hand, examining it. "It looks useful, but you're going to have to think a little more when you're buying a gift for a woman, Arthur."

"How much more jewelry can I buy her?" Arthur argued, "This is the perfect gift for her. You're not always going to be around to hide her from the world, she's going to need it! What about when she goes back home, it'll be useful to train with!"

"Enough," Uther snapped, putting the dagger back inside the box. Morgana watched helplessly as he signaled for a servant to come by and take it away. "You can redeem yourself next year, when you do some proper shopping for a woman's birthday present."

Arthur huffed angrily. "What are you afraid of?" he muttered. "That she might stab you in your sleep someday?"

"What was that?" Uther barked, widening his eyes in anger.

"Nothing," Arthur spat, reaching for his cup. He drank the whole thing in one gulp and rose from his chair. "I'm going to bed. Happy birthday, Morgana."

Morgana tried to smile again and say thank you, but Arthur was already out of the dining hall, mumbling to himself. Uther rolled his eyes. "Do not pay attention to him, he tends to throw fits when things do not go the way he wants," he spoke. _Congratulations, you just described yourself_, the ward thought bitterly. When Morgana did not reply or even look at him, his expression was stony. "You disagree, then? You think a dagger is a right gift for a lady like you?"

She glanced at him. "It can't have made him feel good that you put him down like that."

"He'll get over it. You just worry about yourself."

Rage churning up inside of her, Morgana rose from her chair, finally excusing herself. Uther wished her happy birthday once again and she stomped back to her chambers, fighting tears as she whipped Uther's necklace off of her and threw it across the room. Clutching the bracelet on her hand, she silently prayed for it to save her.

Morgana sat at her mirror and looked at herself. She was thin, thinner than she could remember. Her stress and misery prevented her from digesting anything solid and her skin tone had become much paler, a sickly shade. There were dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep, conveniently covered up with a layer of make-up. She dreaded to think what would happen if Uther saw her when she wasn't all dolled up. He would criticize her to the point where she would be reduced to tears. And Morgana had done enough crying in her lifetime.

Sitting down at her table, she set about to replying to her father's birthday letter, knowing Gwen would be here soon to check up on her. Morgana told herself the same thing she did every birthday- _just a little bit longer now. A little bit longer._

_Happy birthday to me._

A few days after Morgana's birthday, news reached the king of a new suspect of magic- a man named Thomas Collins, villager of the lower town, and practitioner of the art. At the trial, Collins did not deny his actions nor opposed his conviction. Uther locked him up in the dungeons and passed a death sentence, to be carried on in the late afternoon.

"Did he hurt anyone, Father?" asked Arthur at lunch around noon. Him, the king, and Morgana sat on the large, grand table, a "family lunch" as Uther liked to call it.

"Not that we know of. But he would have," Uther replied, turning eyes to a silent Morgana. "Sit up straight now, you don't to appear depressed."

_Oh good, you noticed_, Morgana thought, straightening up and brushing her hair back with her fingers. She took a casual sip of water as Uther continued. "You should always assume that those with magic will eventually take advantage of their power, use it for evil."

"He seemed innocent to me," Arthur shrugged, stabbing a piece of meat with his fork.

"Seemed is the key word here, my son," Uther advised, lifting a warning finger, "Sorcerers are clever, they hide behind a disguise. Either way, he was well aware of the law and chose to practice magic anyway. If he was innocent, it does not matter. He broke the law."

"But you shouldn't kill him," Morgana spoke softly. The king and prince looked at her in surprise. She usually took Uther's side just to please him. It was very rare she spoke out against him.

"And just what do you suggest I do then, Lady Morgana?" Uther said, sounding like he was mocking her.

"Well… he didn't hurt anyone. You could just… banish him," she stammered, looking down at her lap.

"He would come back. Wreak more havoc. As if he hasn't already."

"What about his family? You would be hurting them terribly," Morgana pointed out. _As you are with my father and me._

"It is their fault as much as it is his."

"How? They didn't do anything," Morgana shot back, raising her voice.

"That is quite enough," Uther snapped, glaring at her. "The sentence has been passed. We are no longer discussing this. You would do well to hold your tongue around your king."

Morgana's nostrils flared but she shut her mouth. She glanced at Arthur to see he was smiling, but not in a cruel way. He looked like he was admiring her, proud that she countered Uther's argument. It made her feel just a little bit better. But not enough.

* * *

At last, at last… he had made it.

The journey had been long and Merlin was barely able to contain his excitement. But when the tall towers of the castle appeared before his eyes, a smile formed on his lips- Camelot. He may have lived here once, but he had turned into a village boy who stood in awe of castles and kingdoms and the like.

Life in Ealdor hadn't changed much for him. No one picked on him anymore but Merlin's magic combined with Will's mischievous attitude had the two pulling pranks and causing trouble. His mother never yelled at him nor scolded him. Instead, Hunith had finally realized that the village was no longer a place for Merlin. He needed help and she wasn't enough. After a few letters back and forth, she announced that he would be returning to Camelot to stay with an old friend of hers; a man named Gaius, the court physician to the king. At the news, Merlin was overjoyed and began flinging all of his belongings into a bag, already packing. Finally! Back to Camelot, where someone would guide him with his magic, a place where he could a lead a much more exciting life, make new friends, figure himself out… and Morgana.

"Did you ask? Is the Lady Morgana still there? Do you know?" he pestered Hunith the morning of his departure. He had already said goodbye to Will who demanded he come back sometime soon so they could resume their pranks and games.

"No, I did not," his mother replied gently, "You will find out soon enough. But Merlin, please do not have such high hopes. Even if she is there, she is a guest of the king. He might not like it if try constantly to see her."

"Mother, I just want to meet her," Merlin sighed, "I'm not going to be some bother in her life. Even gazing all day at her would be enough. Just as long as I know she's still there."

Hunith shook her head. "You never know, you could find another girl to swoon over."

Merlin highly doubted that as he hugged his mother tightly and left her for the first time to be on his own. A few hours in and already the warlock missed his mother. It would be strange, not having her around. But nevertheless, this was new and exciting- Merlin on his own!

The lower town had not drastically changed and he remembered it well. There were more people, walking around with loads in their arms, calling to their friends or family members, chatting animatedly, occasionally yelling. There were more shops and stalls, retaining the busy life that never left Camelot. Keeping a hold on the straps of his bag, Merlin walked through, passing by a few kids chasing each other. He spotted the bright red capes of the knights flowing behind their chainmail-covered figures. The warlock followed the current of people, glancing up and down at his sights with a smile on his face. He could easily get back into living in the kingdom.

As Merlin made his way into the citadel, the sound of horns filled the air. He spotted a crowd that had formed inside the square and approached them. The amazed look on his face turned to one of anxious curiosity when he saw what was happening. The crowd was looking up at a man with an axe standing on a platform, waiting. The horns stopped and were replaced with the banging of drums. Two guards dragged a villager by his arms up to the platform next to the man.

"Let this serve as a lesson to all." Everyone, including Merlin, turned their heads up to the stern voice of none other than King Uther Pendragon himself. He had aged over the years, and looked older than Merlin remembered. But the cold, determined look in his eyes never left. And from the looks of it, neither had his cruelty.

"This man," Uther addressed, "Thomas James Collins, is adjudged with conspiring to use enchantments and magic. In persistent to the laws of Camelot I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned, on penalty of dead. I pride myself on being a fair and just King, but for the crime of sorcery, there is but on sentence I can pass." _Fair and just? Are you kidding me?_ Merlin thought incredulously. _What's so fair and just about killing off people who are different from you? Absolutely nothing!_

Uther nodded his head and the guards lowered Thomas Collins to his knees. The man next to him was the executioner. Merlin felt his heart pound quickly, the previous joy he felt melting away at the sight before him. The executioner positioned the axe above the villager's head, waiting for Uther's signal. Merlin kept his eyes on the axe, fear evident on his face. At that moment, he just noticed that beyond the view of the execution, a woman was standing near a window, her eyes lowered, looking down. Before Merlin could get a good look at her, Uther made the signal and down came the axe fiercely. The crowd gasped and turned their heads away. Merlin tried to keep himself from shaking and refused to look away. _Get used to it_, he told himself, _this may happen frequently._

"When I came to this land," Uther continued, as if he was recounting an old heroic tale, "This kingdom was marred with chaos and with the people's help, magic was driven from the land. So I declare a festival, to celebrate twenty years since the great dragon was captured and Camelot freed from the evil of sorcery. Let the celebrations begin!" Merlin was slowly starting to regret this decision. The people back in Ealdor may have thought him a freak, but at least they didn't chase after him with an axe and attempt to chop his head off. _Gods, what have I gotten myself into?_

The crowd started to disperse when a mournful cry brought their attention back to the center. An old woman was staring up at the king, clutching at her worn skirt. It was obvious that she was the mother of the convicted Uther regarded her coldly. "There is only one evil in this land and it is not magic," she shrieked, "It is you. With your hatred and your ignorance. You took my son, but I promise you that before the celebrations are over you will share my tears. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth," she broke off and lowered her voice to a deadly whisper, "_a son for a son_."

Merlin widened his eyes in horror. He had almost forgotten about Arthur Pendragon, the golden-headed boy who liked to tease the children of the lower town. The warlock could only imagine what he was like now before he actually met him. That is… if the woman didn't take his life first.

"Seize her," Uther ordered, pointing a finger. The guards made for her, but the woman enchanted something under her breath and disappeared in a flurry of wind right before everyone's very eyes. Merlin stared in shock. He had not seen any of this coming. _Well, this is certainly turning out to be some welcome back party. I wonder if Gaius has any more gifts waiting for me when I meet him…_

After what had just happened, the audience went their own ways and so did the king. Merlin grasped onto the straps of his bag nervously, glancing back up at the window where he saw the woman. She had finally lifted her head so he got a good look at her- long black hair, green eyes, light skin, blue dress… _holy mother of God_. No… no it couldn't have been… could it?

The woman sensed someone was looking her way and her eyes found Merlin. At first she looked nervous, wondering why some village boy was staring up at her. Then her eyes seemed to shine in recognition. They locked gazes and Merlin dug into his memory and drew comparisons. Everything was there, the features were so exact…

"Morgana," he murmured, the name sounding sweet to his ears. As if she could hear him, the woman frantically averted her eyes and closed the window. Merlin's shoulders sank and he breathed out heavily. _Great job_, he scolded himself, _you completely freaked her out. Good luck trying to get her to ever talk to you again._

"Glued to your spot there, stranger?" Merlin whipped around to see a young knight standing before, grinning like he found Merlin to be the funniest boy in the world. He had longish brown hair and a sly glint in his eyes. It vaguely reminded him of Will.

"No, I was just… uhh…" Merlin stumbled on his words, not sure how he could explain what he had just been doing.

"Staring up at the Lady Morgana's window?" the knight pointed out, shaking his head, "Wouldn't do that if I were you. Dare the king catch you so much as glancing at his ward, you'll meet the same fate as Collins over here." He jerked his head towards the platform.

"I wasn't! I mean… I didn't… the Lady Morgana still lives here?" That was quite honestly the only thing the warlock could say right now.

"Hard to believe, isn't it? Came here when she was about this tall," the knight said, using his hand to show the height of little Morgana, "And now look at her. She's a jewel. Can't blame you for staring."

"I was not staring," Merlin insisted, mentally kicking himself for blushing. "I just… wasn't sure if that was her. I thought she would have left, you know, with her father and all that."

The knight snorted. "Please, like the king is going to be letting _that_ go. Poor girl holes up in the castle all day, ordered around by that tyrant they call a 'fair and just' king."

Merlin smiled, glad to see someone speak out openly against Uther, a knight especially. "I'm Merlin," he introduced himself.

"Gwaine," replied the knight, sticking out a hand for a shake. He scanned the warlock up and down. "Where you from, Merlin?"

"Just this village out of Uther's kingdom," Merlin replied simply.

"Came to Camelot to find work?"

"Yeah, something like that. I was looking around for Gaius, the court physician, but I was just momentarily distracted."

"Ah, Gaius," Gwaine chuckled. "Love the old man, though I can't say he reciprocates. Here, I'll take you to him. Are you his new assistant? Lord knows the man could use one."

Merlin chose his words carefully. Gwaine may not have though highly of Uther but he wasn't about to let his secret run free. "You could say that!"

"Follow me," Gwaine offered, leading Merlin out of the square and into the castle. Merlin decided he officially liked Gwaine. He was nice to him, a much better welcome than watching a man get his head hacked off.

"Here we are." They stopped in front the chamber doors to the court physician's.

"Thanks," Merlin said gratefully.

"Don't mention it," Gwaine waved off, "I feel obligated to tell you to enjoy your stay in Camelot and we'll be sad to see you leave."

The warlock laughed. "I hope nothing makes me want to."

"Trust me, if what you just saw hasn't scared you off yet, you'll be here for quite some time. Oh and Merlin?" Gwaine leaned in. "If you're going to drool over the Lady Morgana, do so where you're not at risk of getting caught by Uther."

Grinning again, Gwaine walked off, clearly amused with himself. Merlin exhaled sharply. He hated to admit it, but the knight was right. Morgana had been trapped in Camelot and isolated from her father for many years for a reason. Uther did not seem to have any intention of letting her free and Merlin found himself worrying for her already.

But before he could do anymore fearing for another's life, he had to think about his first. And the first thing on his list was to get acquainted with Gaius.

* * *

**A/N: I'm so glad all of you are liking the story! Next chapter, Merlin and Morgana will finally meet. Our beloved warlock will also meet the famous condescending clotpole, Arthur himself. My heart aches for Morgana, as the rest of yours are too. It's sort of following the plot of the show but it focuses mainly on the Mergana relationship, so I'm going to be changing a few things here and there. And I love the way I'm writing Gwaine, I had to include him early in the story.**

**Please review! They're the reason chapters go up so fast. Cheers. **


	4. First Impressions

**Chapter 4**

Morgana's heart was still beating rapidly.

It was him. That boy, the boy who was staring up at her. It was the boy from her dream, exactly as she had seen him. Same outfit, same hair, same eyes… and he said her name, she was positive he had. He knew her but she did not know him. _How was that possible_?

"Morgana." The ward felt a chill run down her spine when she heard Uther's voice call her name. She was breathing slowly, looking out the same window, replaying the execution in her head over and over. It had been hours ago and evening had descended upon the city, but Morgana could not get it out of her head. She turned around. "Yes?"

"What is this? Why are you not showing up at the feast?" Uther demanded to know.

Morgana pursed her lips, deciding to speak her mind. "I just don't think chopping someone's head off is cause for celebration."

Uther exhaled sharply, as if he had heard the same lecture all day. Morgana looked back at the platform sadly. "That poor woman…"

"Justice had to be done," the king snapped, not liking her sorrow for others.

"To who?" she tried, narrowing her eyes. "He practiced magic. He didn't hurt anyone!"

"You weren't around twenty years ago, you don't know what it was like," her guardian growled. There was a familiar, angry glint in Uther's eyes and she temporarily wished Arthur were here to back her up. But no, she would have to stand on her own this time.

"How much longer are you going to keep punishing people for what happened then?" she shot back.

"Until they realize there is no room for magic in my kingdom!" Uther declared, staying firm with her.

"Oh? And how much longer are you going to punish my father for his actions years ago?" Morgana asked coldly, turning icy green eyes onto him. Granted she was shorter and much skinnier next to Uther but her tongue was sharp and she couldn't resist.

Uther's nostrils flared. "You speak to me like that again, I will make sure he pays for his crimes with his life," he sneered, matching her iciness. Morgana swallowed back the string of insults she was ready to pelt in the king's direction. Instead, she chose to keep herself calm and collected.

"You will be there with me when we greet Lady Helen," he ordered, turning to walk away.

"I told you, I want no part of these-"

"I am your guardian!" Uther declared, whipping around. "I expect you to do as I ask." There was a look in his eyes that seemed to threaten Morgana merely with their glare. She recognized it and faltered, feeling like she had no power in her. "If you won't show me any respect, then at least respect our finest singer." With that, he turned to walk away again.

Morgana stopped biting her tongue down, refusing to see limits. "You know the more brutal you are, the more enemies you'll create!" she exclaimed in his direction. _How's that for respect, my lord?_ Fortunately, it did not cause him to come back. He ignored her, probably concocting up some punishment for his ward. Not that Morgana cared. Uther never punished her, despite his cruel, tyrannical ways.

What if that changes too? Morgana thought. It was possible that Uther could decide his ward was not worthy of any special treatment and throw her into the dungeons without caring for her well-being. He had already stopped asking about how well she slept. Next, he would no longer care if she completely stopped eating. Then, he wouldn't noticed how sickly and unkempt she looked (when she decided to stop thinking twice about looking presentable). And soon… Morgana would be nothing important to him. And if that were the case… Uther would kill her father.

The woman turned around, not wanting to lay her eyes on the platform any longer. It depressed her, as if she wasn't feeling that way enough. There wasn't much to do on her own. Gwen was working at the feast, Arthur and Gwaine were enjoying it… Morgana almost wanted to go, just so she wouldn't be alone with her own thoughts. But the mere idea of eating, drinking, and being merry after today made her want to throw up what little she had eaten all day. Forget it. Morgana was staying true to her words- chopping a man's head off was not another's cause for celebration.

"Looking a bit lonely there." Morgana lifted her head to see Gwaine walking towards her, smiling that usual smile as if he knew something she didn't.

"Better here than at the feast," she pointed out.

"I got worried, had to make sure you were alright after Uther spoke to you." Gwaine was in his chainmail, as all the knights usually were when they were feasting.

Morgana nodded gratefully. "I'm sure I've made it clear I don't find happiness in the death of others."

"You always did have a soft side for sorcerers."

"I have a soft side for innocent civilians who have done no harm," the ward snapped. This was not a time to be joking around with her. She looked helplessly out the window. "That man did nothing wrong and now his mother must suffer."

"Not for long. Uther's going to double to guard now that the woman made a threat to be rid of Arthur the same way Collins was killed off," Gwaine reminded, standing next to Morgana. They had grown to be close friends, like with Arthur. In a strange way, the relationships between each other were equal to that of siblings.

"He wouldn't have to if he had just left the man alone," Morgana muttered. "How dare he? Does he think he's enforcing his authority by killing off men and women who have done no wrong? He's done it all his life, for whatever reason."

"You shouldn't verse your feelings so openly, Morgana," Gwaine advised, "I agree with everything you say but you're in a much more fragile situation than I am. One slip up, and it'll be the axe for your father as well."

Morgana bit her lip. Gwaine was right, infuriatingly so. She wished she had the freedom to say whatever she wanted. Hell, she would skip about the lower town and sing a song of her hatred for Uther. But that was not in her power. She had to be good, for Gorlois. Morgana could picture him shaking his head sadly if Uther wrote to him and told him of her disobeying him. She faced Gwaine. "Tell the king I apologize for what I have said and will be there to greet Lady Helen tomorrow when she arrives. I am not feeling well for the feast and hope he shall pardon me for tonight."

Gwaine smiled sympathetically. "That's better. I'll deliver the message personally. Though Arthur might kill you for not being there. His father's been rough on him lately."

"When is he not?" the ward sighed. "Is Gaius there tonight as well? I was hoping I could speak with him." She had to tell the physician that the boy in her dreams was real. He was here. Gaius could definitely help her now.

"I think he skipped out tonight. He's got a new assistant under his wing," Gwaine informed, picking something imaginary off his chainmail. "You'll meet him soon, he seems nice. A bit awkward, tends to stammer a lot, but he's harmless."

"A new assistant?" Morgana looked confused.

"Merlin. Doubt you saw him, he was out in the square, watching the execution." A smirk was playing on Gwaine's mouth and he seemed to be enjoying himself. Oh, he most certainly knew something Morgana did not and from the looks of it, he was going to milk it as much as possible.

_Merlin._ Was he the boy? Were they the same person? No, it was too much of a coincidence. Thinking about it was making Morgana's head ache. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to call it an early night. Tell Arthur I'm sorry I could not be there either. He'll understand why."

"Will do." Gwaine nodded his head once. "Goodnight, Lady Morgana."

"And goodnight to you, Sir Gwaine." Smiling, she left the knight and made her way to her chambers. She felt so thankful for him then- he knew how to lift her spirits in dark times and constantly made her laugh, in spite of herself. And now she was fed an interesting piece of news- a boy named Merlin had just become Gaius's new assistant. Judging by Gwaine's playfulness, he had noticed the boy gazing at her from outside in the square. Put two and two together, and there you had it. Merlin was him.

But the woman would have to see for herself tomorrow. Just to be sure.

Morgana was gently nudged awake by Gwen the next morning. Lady Helen was to arrive later today and she wanted to look her best, mostly to please Uther. Dressing in her favorite purple gown and letting her black hair fall in waves down her back, she walked to the dining hall for breakfast with the Pendragons. Arthur looked happy to see her and Uther looked… well, as he always did, stony and unpleased.

"I take it you will join me when I greet Lady Helen today?" he asked curtly, drinking from his cup of water.

"I will," Morgana nodded, ignoring the clenching in her stomach and forcing a piece of fruit down her throat. It was enough to make Uther nod in a satisfactory manner. Gwaine's words from last night echoed in her head and she knew she had to up her game. She straightened up and forced a bright smile in the king's direction. "Tell me, sire, when will Lady Helen be arriving tonight

Arthur looked up from his plate, a puzzled expression on his face. Since when was Morgana all smiles and sunshine around the cloudiest, grayest man in the world? Uther's face was much like his son's. "Sometime in the evening, before dinner, I believe. I thought you did not want to see her?"

"Oh no, I do. She is our best singer after all." She casually reached for the food on her plate to assure the king nothing was wrong. Uther was not moved by this but let it go anyway.

"Yes… well… good," he managed to say, "I must say, Morgana, this is quite a sudden change from yesterday. What came over you?"

Morgana swallowed, feeling both men glare at her for different reasons. "I was so overwhelmed by yesterday's events, I didn't know what I was saying. I'm sure Gwaine told you of my apology."

"He did," Uther agreed. "It comes to me as a surprise but nevertheless, I am glad you are attempting to understand why I take certain courses of action."

Biting back her true feelings, Morgana looked understanding and thoughtful. They resumed eating for a few silent moments when she spoke up again. "Gwaine also told me that Gaius has a new assistant?"

"What is he, your new messenger?" Arthur brought up teasingly.

"Just something he slipped in!" she shrugged.

Uther turned cold gray eyes onto his son, disapproving of their light banter. He took their exchanges in a different way. "Morgana is right. He does have a new assistant. Glad that he does, if I am being honest. Gaius is an old man, he needs more help than he thinks."

"Isn't he lucky?" Arthur snorted, "I could use a new servant myself."

"This is your third one this month," Uther said impatiently, "What are you _doing_ to your servants that renders them so incapable of their job?"

Arthur held his hands up. "Is it my fault they can't do a decent day's work? How is it fair that Morgana gets one of the best ones in Camelot and I get the ones handpicked from the Cart of Incompetence?" A small chuckled escaped Morgana's lips. There were times when Arthur's humor was unmatched and this was one of those times.

"You're not getting another servant," Uther said sternly, "At this rate, we'll have to start hiring villagers from outside of our realm to please you."

"You might as well, because no one from this city is good enough." Humorous Arthur was gone and in his place was the arrogant son of the king. "I'm going to target practice. I shall see you all later." He tipped his head to the both of them and left for his everyday routine of combat. Morgana watched him leave, wishing she could follow. She felt safer in his presence when around Uther.

"What am I going to do with him?" Uther mumbled, shaking his head, "New servants, new weapons, even new clothes… that boy just wants everything."

This was a moment where whatever comment Morgana made could either keep her on his good side or kick her out and back to his bad side. Best she kept those to herself. "I should go too," she excused herself, raising up out of her seat.

"So soon? You haven't finished your breakfast."

"I want to get ready to greet Lady Helen. It does take a while for a lady to look presentable, don't you think?" Morgana may have been overdoing her whole act, but if it was working, why not keep going?

The corners of Uther's mouth lifted, obviously pleased by her sudden change from last night. He excused her and off she went, not to her chambers, but to the court physician. Maybe she wouldn't have to wait until tomorrow night to actually catch a glimpse of this Merlin boy. Uther was imposing but there was nothing suspicious in seeing Gaius. In fact, it would be worse if Uther caught her staring at him at the feast the next night. This idea was better.

Carefully opening the door, Morgana stuck her head to see Gaius at his table, sifting through papers and books as he normally was. "Gaius?"

He looked up through his glasses. "Morgana! What a pleasant surprise."

"I hope I am not disturbing you."

"Not at all, come in!" Morgana made her way in, her gown swishing around as she paced quickly towards him. "What can I do for you, my lady?"

"I need to talk to you about something." Morgana sat down and got straight to the point. "It's about the boy from my dreams."

Gaius pushed his papers aside and took off his glasses. The quizzical brow remained on his face. "He's still there?"

"Yes," she started. "And not just in my dreams. He's here, Gaius. He's in Camelot."

The court physician looked taken aback. "Where did you see him?"

"Yesterday, after the execution," Morgana replied, her voice quivering at the memory of it. "The crowd had cleared and I saw him standing there, staring up at me. I couldn't help it, I stared back and it was him. I swear on it."

Gaius looked thoughtful. "Are you sure of this, Morgana?"

"Positive," she pressed. "And Gaius… he knows my name. I could read his lips, he _whispered_ my _name_."

The old man's face was unreadable. "Perhaps he was saying something else…"

"No," Morgana insisted. "I wasn't seeing things. It is the boy from my dream, he said my name, and… and I think he is your new assistant. Merlin."

Gaius widened his eyes. "Merlin? How did you hear of him?"

"Gwaine met him yesterday and told me. I drew my own conclusions but I'm absolutely certain it was him. Gaius, please, you have to believe me," Morgana practically begged. She sounded desperate. She wanted someone to believe her. It sounded crazy, what she was saying but Morgana never lied. She knew things when she saw them.

"It is plausible," Gaius finally said, looking as if he didn't want to believe her, "Very peculiar, but plausible indeed. The way you described the boy from your dreams matches him rather perfectly. But I cannot say why Merlin would be in your dreams."

"It must mean something," Morgana said quietly, "Everything I see, I feel as if I am catching a peek into the future. Usually, it's something new each time, but… Merlin remains. It's like he's important and I don't know why."

"Merlin came to me yesterday to find work," Gaius brought up, "He's from a village outside of Uther's realm. I sent him to deliver a few antidotes. He should be back by now, if you wanted to meet him, see for yourself if it is truly him."

Morgana's heart skipped a beat. Should she wait? The woman didn't know how she was going to act once Merlin stepped through these doors. What would she say? What would _he_ say? He recognized her but how, Gods help Morgana if she knew.

"I… I don't know, Gaius… will he be at the feast tomorrow?"

"I don't see why not. Granted he will be working but he will be there."

"I'll meet him then. Now's not a good time." Troubled even more so than she was before, Morgana got up from the table. "I should go. Uther expects me to look my best when we see Lady Helen tonight."

"Of course… come back anytime you need help, Morgana."

She smiled appreciatively. "Thank you, Gaius."

* * *

Merlin had spent some of his morning delivering antidotes for Gaius. It gave him the opportunity to explore his new- well, formerly old- home. He hadn't gotten a chance to actually meet Morgana yet but he clung on to the hope that he would sometime soon. What he was really worried about was running into the king's son. Merlin wasn't too optimistic to think Arthur had changed into a kindhearted young man. He'd still be the same prattish royal he was years ago.

The warlock walked out into the sun to see a bunch of knights training, surrounded by weapons.

"Where is the target?" questioned a blond man dressed in armor and a red shirt. Merlin paused to watch.

The knight's servant looked timid. "There, sire?"

"In the sun?" snipped the knight, tossing his hair pretentiously. Merlin rolled his eyes. What was with Camelot knights? Did they have to be so full of themselves?

"It's not that bright," the servant said defensively.

"A bit like you then!" The knights snickered with the blond. Merlin breathed a sigh. The man reminded him of John from his old village. He did have a familiar look about him, but the warlock was too busy watching this unfold before him.

The serving boy picked up the large target and struggled to get it out of the way of the sun. Smirking, the blond knight grabbed a daggers and flung it at the target. Flustered, the servant shouted at him to wait. The knight hurried him, continually throwing daggers until the serving boy fell and the target rolled away from his grip. Merlin stopped it with his boot. "Hey come on, that's enough," he called out, not in a disrespectful way. He felt the need to interfere, taking pity on the servant.

The man looked surprised that someone dare tell him to stop. "_What_?"

"You've had your fun, my friend." _As long as I'm nice, he will be too… I hope._

The knight made his way towards him. "Do I know you?"

Merlin stuck his hand out for a shake. "Ah, I'm Merlin."

"So I don't know you?" He ignored his hand.

Merlin took it back, feeling humiliated. _So much for that_. "No."

"Yet you would call me 'friend'?"

The warlock hung his head. "That was my mistake."

"Yes, I think so," the knight replied."

"I could never have a friend who could be such an ass." Merlin quite possibly made the biggest mistake of his life, insulting a knight on his first official day as a citizen in Camelot. Instead of continuing, he turned his back to him and walked away.

The blond chuckled. "Nor I one who could be so stupid. Tell me, _Mer_lin, do you know how to walk on your knees?"

Merlin stopped and turned to face him slowly. "Nope."

"Would you like me to help you?" Cheeky, was he? He didn't know that Merlin could level with him on that.

"I wouldn't if I were you," he said warningly.

The knight grinned. "Why? What are you going to do to me?"

"You've no idea."

"Be my guest!" Arthur held out his arms, daring Merlin to have a go at him. "Come on! Come on!" Merlin looked around and realized everyone was staring at them. Who didn't love a good challenge against a trained knight of Camelot? "_Come on_!"

He could've done it. He could've used his magic. But he didn't, he wasn't an idiot. Instead, Merlin did the first thing that came to his mind and that was to lash out at the knight with his fist. In one swift motion, the blond had grabbed him by his arm and twisted it behind his back. Merlin bit back a painful yelp, bent over. The audience around them gasped collectively.

"I could throw you in jail for that," Arthur muttered triumphantly.

"Who do you think you are, the king?" Merlin snapped.

"No, I'm his son. _Arthur_." The boy froze. Arthur sent a kick to his back and he fell to the ground, defeated. Promptly, two guards grabbed him by his arms and dragged him the dungeons. The threw him into a cell and shut the bars.

Merlin was breathing heavily, completely and utterly embarrassed and furious with himself. How could he have been so clueless? He had been threatening the king's son, the bloody prince of Camelot! Not only that, but he was about to expose his magic. Gaius was going to kill him once he found out. Merlin would probably be stuck in the dungeons for a long time, and it was only his first day.

The only good thing about today was that Arthur had not recognized him as the little boy who escaped many years ago. To the prince he was a mere stranger, an insignificant one at that. And maybe to everyone else he was just that. Surely Arthur would go and tell his father. And Gaius. And the Lady Morgana…

_Great_, he thought bitterly. _There goes my chance at making a good impression._

* * *

**A/N: I know I said they would meet this chapter and I was going to write out where Merlin delivers the draught for Morgana and the feast and whatnot. But it would take longer and I've kept you all waiting enough! The fateful meeting will happen next chapter. And I swear I won't keep you all waiting so much! I've had a busy week, but I'm back to updating! Please review, I always look forward to hearing your feedback!**

**PS. Any fans of my other story, **_**Keep Me Forever,**_** that will be updated soon. Apologies for being lazy!**


	5. Good, Right Answer

**Chapter 5**

Morgana had wanted nothing to do with Uther's celebrations. But she had no power to decide for herself. All of that had been taken away from her the minute she stepped foot in this castle. And so Morgana dressed in one of her favorite gowns, pulled her hair back, and stood properly in the throne room, waiting for the singer to step through the front doors. The king had ordered her to be there when they greeted their guest, Lady Helen.

At once, the large doors opened and in walked a women dressed in a long purple gown, making her way towards the king. Morgana kept her head lifted, forcing a small, polite smile in the singer's direction. Uther rose from his throne and grinned at the woman, walking towards her. "Lady Helen," he started, opening up his arms warmly, "Thank you so much for coming to sing at our celebrations."

Lady Helen bowed her head. "Pleasure's all mine."

Uther kissed her hands and Morgana felt her spine stiffen up. How any woman could stand simply being touched by him, God help her if she knew. It was no wonder why she could not eat properly or muster up a legitimate smile; this man was the reason.

Lady Helen moved from Uther to her and she plastered the same fake smile on her face. "Pleasure to see you, Lady Helen." Morgana lifted her skirt and curtsied shortly. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Uther nod his head approvingly.

"Lady Morgana," the singer said, clasping her hands around hers dramatically, "Such an honor it is to see your lovely face again. I thought by now you'd be back with your lord father."

Morgana cleared her throat. "I thought so too, my lady. Seems we are both surprised."

Uther's eyes darkened and he glared coldly in his ward's direction. Lady Helen, on the other hand, was smirking in an odd way. Morgana's sass had no effect on her. "Yes… it appears so." She moved on to greet the rest of the guests that had gathered to see her. As she did, Uther reached forward and grabbed Morgana by her arm. "You will behave yourself," he hissed under his breath, eyes wide with fury. "There is no room for your attitude in my castle, do you hear me?"

The ward bit her lip. "Yes… _sire_," she practically spat.

"Good. Now go to your chambers, you will eat alone tonight for being cheeky." Morgana decided against telling Uther that nothing pleased her more than to be far away from him. She bowed her head in pretend shame, bid Lady Helen goodnight, and went off to her chambers, Gwen trailing behind her. Once there, Morgana could finally breathe.

"Shall I go fetch your dinner, my lady?" Gwen offered, "I'll even sneak you extra desserts, if you'd like."

Morgana finally smiled for real at her maid. "No, I'm not hungry."

"Oh… well, can I get you anything else? Or maybe help you pick out a dress for the feast?"

"No, Gwen, just take the rest of the night off." Morgana sat at her mirror and released her hair, letting her black waves tumble over her left shoulder. She finger-combed through the knots, watching Gwen fidget nervously in her mirror. She turned to look at her. "Really, Gwen. I don't have anything for you to do. You should go home to your father."

"Are you sure?" the maid said, looking at the ward with a knowing, sympathetic look in her eyes. Morgana felt terrible, but she hated the way everyone looked at her. Like they took pity on her for being Uther's mistreated pet. Morgana was the blood of Gorlois, a Le Fay- she would take pity from no one.

"I am sure. Goodnight, Gwen," she dismissed, turning back to her mirror. She watched Gwen curtsy, say goodnight, and leave the chambers, shutting the doors behind her.

Morgana stared at herself in the mirror. All the makeup in the world couldn't fix what'd become of her- the bags under her eyes, the sunken cheekbones, the pouty lips forever drawn into a frown. She could see how prominent her collarbone was now, and her hip size seemed to have shrunk rather noticeably. All her dresses had to be wrapped with belts to fit her now tiny frame. What had become of the strong girl of Gorlois Le Fay? She took verbal beatings from the tyrant they called the "fair and just" king of Camelot, treated more like a prisoner than a ward, suffering nightmares and lack of appetite… and she had received no word from her father. How had Morgana survived all this time? She had her friends and at least the guarantee of safety from the outside… but her life was miserable, period. And who wanted a life like this?

A knock at her chamber doors interrupted Morgana's disturbing thoughts. "Come in," she called out as she removed her jewelry, save for her Savior bracelet, what she wore every day without fail. To her relief, it was only Arthur, not Uther who walked through those doors.

"Father said you'd be here," he started, "why aren't you dining with us?"

"Uther banished me to my chambers because I showed Lady Helen cheek." Morgana tried to play it off as no big deal. But Arthur knew her well- he could see through it.

"You could be complimenting Lady Helen's hair and he would think you're being cheeky," Arthur replied, rolling his eyes and taking a seat. "You're not eating?"

"I'm not hungry."

The prince breathed out a sigh. "Morgana…"

She turned eyes on him. "What, Arthur?" The sharpness in her tone wasn't entirely intentional.

Arthur faltered. "Nothing… nothing at all."

Morgana changed the subject. "Is there a reason you came to see me?"

"I just thought you could use some company. Not right for a lady to be eating all by herself," he responded, "Or… just being by herself."

She smiled at him gratefully. "Well, I thank you for that. It does get lonely, sitting in my chambers all the time." Morgana turned in her seat to fully face the prince. "Do anything special today besides training?"

"Speaking of cheek," Arthur started, sitting up straight, ready to tell a story, "A servant was showing me a rather copious amount of it when he called me an ass and took a swing at me this morning."

Morgana widened her eyes, interest taking over. "He called you an ass? God help that man."

Arthur snorted, "Don't forget the part where he tried to hit me. But he's all taken care of. I had him locked up, he's not going anywhere."

The ward shook her head. "Oh, Arthur. I really do have to question what you are doing to your servants that is driving them to hit you and call you inappropriate names."

"He wasn't my servant. The looks of him, he seemed to be one, though I can't say I've ever seen him around before." Arthur sat back in his seat, getting comfortable. "But it doesn't excuse the incompetence of my other one. That's what got the whole thing started in the first place. He couldn't do his job, and the big man decided to step in and act tough. If he stayed out of it, he wouldn't be in the dungeons right now."

"Dear lord," Morgana sighed. "Now you excuse him of instigating! You really can be a bully sometimes, Arthur."

"I'm the king's son, it's my job," Arthur shot back pretentiously. "And no serving boy has the right to step into matters that do not concern him. Had the nerve to call me friend and expect us to get along after that."

"Who was he, anyway? What was his name?"

"It was something, uncommon, a bit odd if you ask me…" Arthur thought for a moment. "Oh yeah, it was Merlin."

Morgana nearly fell off her chair. "_Merlin_?"

"Weird, right? Who names their kid 'Merlin'? It's like you're asking for him to be picked on," the prince snickered, not taking any notice of Morgana's sudden change in attitude. "Anyway, he's Gaius's new assistant, he'll be bailed out tomorrow. Best I keep an eye on him, he's got this look about him-"

"He is in the dungeons, you say?" Morgana cut him off, releasing her hair from her fingers.

Arthur looked at her strangely. "Er… yes. Just for tonight, it might teach him a lesson."

An idea hit Morgana like a large tidal wave and she sprang up from her chair. "Arthur, I am tired," she announced, walking over to her closet to fetch her nightgown. "I think I'm going to call it an early night." She disappeared behind the screen, catching a quick glance at the puzzled expression on Arthur's face.

"Is… everything alright, Morgana? I haven't upset you, have I?" He was clearly worried, standing on the other side of the screen.

"No, not at all! I've had a long day, I just really need some rest," Morgana continued her act.

"Do you want me to get Gwen for you?"

"It's fine, I can manage on my own."

"Alright…" The ward could hear the utter confusion in Arthur's voice when he spoke. She heard her doors open. "Arthur!"

A pause. "Yes?"

"Does Uther know you threw Merlin in jail?" Was that suspicious sounding? Morgana hoped not.

"He does. He's got Gwaine on guard tonight." _Perfect._

"Goodnight, Arthur." Morgana heard footsteps and the doors to her chambers close. She felt bad for flipping on him so suddenly but the minute he told her that he was down in the dungeons, Morgana's mind went to work. She had wanted to know about this boy for a _very_ long time- it only strengthened when she stared into those pale blue orbs yesterday, mesmerized by his gaze. Of course, it would be tricky and dare she was caught, Uther might punish her. No, not might. But _would_.

Morgana would have to be careful. Granted she would never have done something like this before, knowing what the consequences held. But damn the consequences. Morgana's interest in Merlin had peaked and she was going to do whatever it took to find out more about him. And with her short patience… tonight.

* * *

"Stupid, stupid," Merlin muttered, lightly hitting a fist against his forehead, eyes closed. How could he be this foolish? He had attempted to assault the damn prince of Camelot, the son of the king, his royal Pratness, Arthur Pendragon. And almost show him his magic. What in the world was he thinking?

Merlin had been beating himself up over it all day, while inside the cell, amongst a bed of straw. Occasionally, a guard would bring him food but he wasn't all too hungry. He did not feel shame in mouthing off to Arthur but he did feel ashamed for already getting into trouble on his first day. It was difficult to picture what Gaius would do once he heard how his ward messed up. Surely the news would circulate that the idiot new boy from the unknown village attacked the prince. The story would twist into several versions, most in favor of Arthur. People would see him different, negatively. The king would surely hate him. And Morgana… what would the Lady Morgana think once she heard?

_You're being ridiculous_. Merlin shook his head. It couldn't end up all that badly. Gaius would fix things. Hopefully he could in the morning, and no one would think differently of him. It would give him the chance to redeem himself. Or maybe, it was a lot better than he thought. Perhaps he was seen as a hero for standing up to a bully! Oh, the warlock only wished.

Night descended and the guards shifted the duty of keeping an eye on him. He looked up to see Gwaine had taken his spot near his cell, shooting a sly grin in his direction and flipping back his long brown hair. Merlin offered up a small smile and a sheepish shrug of his shoulders.

"Would do you better not to threaten royals, Merlin," Gwaine commented, sitting down. The warlock only just noticed the apple in his hand. The knight bit into the fruit, the sound of its crunch filling up the walls of the dungeon. Merlin's stomach lurched in hunger and he suddenly wished he ate more of the meals the guards brought him.

"I'll keep that in mind next time," he muttered, looking down at the straw-covered ground below him. He prayed sleep would claim him soon so morning would come and he would be out of here… at least he hoped he would.

"You've got nerve, but you're not a coward," Gwaine noted with a mouth full of apple. He lounged on his chair, completely enjoying his duty. He wasn't anything like the uptight knights who usually kept watch on Merlin. "Bravery isn't common among boys like you."

"You'd be surprised," Merlin mentioned through the bars of his cell. He couldn't see Gwaine too clearly but he could hear him well. A few silent moments later, a bitten apple core appeared a few paces away from his bars. Gwaine had finished his apple. The knight settled into his chair, crossing his legs on top of the table.

"Stick it out for tonight, Merlin. It'll be over soon." The boy breathed out a sigh and sat back. Gwaine was right. He'd have to deal. And tomorrow, stay as far away from Arthur as possible. He doubted his ability to hold his tongue and the last thing Merlin wanted was more trouble and another night in this.

Gwaine wasn't speaking to him anymore. Merlin lay back on the straw and closed his eyes. Sleep would make time go faster. He didn't know how long he had been dozing off when he heard footsteps and his eyelids lifted. He stayed absolutely, still hearing whispers and then a small chuckle. It had belonged to Gwaine. The voices were low but they were loud enough for Merlin to figure out who was who; one was obviously Gwaine, the other was a woman. What was a woman doing down here?

Finally, Merlin heard Gwaine's voice at normal volume. "I can give you five minutes. No more, Morgana."

_Morgana._ Merlin's ears perked up and he sat up immediately, leaning forward and grabbing the bars, struggling to catch a sighting of the Lady Morgana. She was here, in the dungeons. But why?

"It's good enough. Thank you, Gwaine. And please… don't tell anyone." Her voice sounded so sweet, even when she was whispering.

"Wouldn't dream of it, my lady." Merlin heard the sound of a chair scraping the ground and more footsteps going up the steps of the castle's cells. Merlin held his breath, backing away from the bars. Gwaine had been sitting down; he had been the one who went up the stairs. Which meant the Lady Morgana was still down here. With him. This could not have ended up any more wrong than Merlin had imagined.

"Hello?" The warlock jumped and scrambled back with his legs, the straw bunching up behind him. Taking deep, heavy breaths, he stared up at the sight before him. It was her.

"It's just me," spoke the Lady Morgana gently, pulling back the hood of her cherry-red cloak. She revealed a head of dark, raven hair, tumbling down in soft waves around her pale face. Her green eyes glittered, intrigued by him, her pink lips slightly parted. Merlin could barely keep himself from gaping. From far away, Morgana had been beautiful. But up close, she was the most breathtaking human being that Merlin ever had the utmost pleasure of meeting.

"Lady Morgana," he murmured, frozen in his spot, locking gazes with her. Green met blue and it took a moment for her to reply.

"Yes, it appears you know me," she said, a smile playing on her mouth. Merlin longed to hear more of her voice and to see her smile fully. "And you are Merlin, am I correct?"

The warlock nodded once, entranced. "Y-yes, I am. How did you know?"

"Arthur told me about you, what you did today," Morgana replied, keeping her voice down. She kneeled down, wrapping her fingers around the cell's bars. "The timing couldn't have been more perfect. I wanted to speak to you as soon as I could, but the opportunity just never seemed to come. And now I have it." Morgana talked quickly and excitedly. It took a while for Merlin to process what she was even saying to him.

"Whoa whoa, slow down," he stopped, holding out a hand. Once she did, he crept a bit closer to her. "What are you talking about? You wanted to speak to me?"

"Yes," she nodded, "I saw you. I saw you outside my window after Thomas Collins' execution. You were gazing up at me, and you said my name. How do you know me when I don't even know you?"

Merlin stared at her, unsure how he was going to respond to that question without coming off as… well, creepy was the best way to put it. "I, just… I mean, I…"

"It must mean something," Morgana continued, "You know my name, you recognized me! Not just that, but…"

"But what?" Merlin cocked his head to one side, studying Morgana's face. The last thing the warlock had expected was to be having a vague, mind-screwing conversation with the woman he had been drooling over practically all his life. Why was she saying all of this to him? Hell, why was she even here?

"Never mind," Morgana brushed aside, "Listen, I only have five minutes with you, probably less now. I am going to ask you a few questions, things I need to know, and you will answer me honestly. Is that clear?"

"I… yes?" That was all the warlock could say.

"Good, right answer." The king's ward nodded in approval. She took a breath before she asked her first question. "First, confirm. Your name is Merlin?"

"Um… yes. Yes it is."

"And you just arrived yesterday."

"Yes, from a village named-"

"I don't need the details just yet," Morgana interrupted.

"Uh… okay." If someone could paint a picture of Merlin's face right now, he would buy it and hang it on his wall to remind him of his first encounter with the Lady Morgana.

"Yesterday, after the execution, when you looked up and saw me at the window, was the very first time you saw me, correct?"

"Y-no," Merlin changed his answer. He instantly regretted it. The interrogation was starting to freak him out, more so than he would have been if, say, Gaius were asking him.

"No?" Morgana's expression changed to one of confusion. She peered at him apprehensively. "You've seen me before?"

"Well, I… it was years ago, we were kids…"

"_Kids_?" Morgana's face matched how exactly how Merlin was feeling right now. She backed away from the bars. "How the hell did you know me when we were kids? I've never met you before in my life!"

"No, you're right, we haven't," Merlin cut in as fast as he could, "But you asked if that was the first time I had seen you and no, it wasn't. I saw you years ago when you first came to Camelot. I hadn't met you but… I wanted to." _It would have been a lot more pleasant and welcoming than what is happening right now._

Morgana looked trouble and she was no longer facing Merlin now. A long time passed and Merlin stopped studying her and asked a question of his own. "Lady Morgana, why are you here? Why are you asking me all of these questions?" If he were being truthful, he preferred her to come down here and scold him for his altercation with Arthur. At least he could handle that. But this? This wasn't making any sense. She was acting like they were long lost partners in crime and she was slowly recollecting memories of their adventures together.

"I… I don't know… it seemed like a good idea…" Morgana squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. "I thought I could find answers… a way to explain it all…"

"Explain what?" Merlin leaned forward, interested. "Is something wrong?"

"I shouldn't have come," Morgana decided, promptly up on her feet. "This was a mistake. I made a mistake. I'm sorry I disturbed you, Merlin."

"What… I… you didn't disturb me," Merlin insisted, standing up as well. "Lady Morgana, if I have troubled you in anyway, please tell me, because I don't know what I've done."

"You haven't done anything. Really, it's nothing. Forget I was here. And Merlin? Don't breathe a word of this to anyone, not even to Gaius. Understand?"

Merlin didn't know what else to do or say to that. Helplessly, he nodded his head.

"Good. Again, right answer." Swiftly, Morgana put the hood back over her head and disappeared so quickly, Merlin thought it was out of thin air. He slowly sank back onto the straw and sat, motionless. A million thoughts swam with a thousand more questions in his head, starting with _what the hell just happened_?

The Lady Morgana had just visited his cell, bursting with questions. Somewhere in the conversation, Merlin had said something wrong, causing her to speak in cryptic, choppy sentences, puzzling him to no end. Then, she just ran off, without any explanation whatsoever.

Merlin lay back on his "bed" and closed his eyes, wanting to block it all out. He really was crazy to think he would have a better life in Camelot. Because currently… it just plain sucked.

* * *

**A/N: This is what happens when I go on vacation halfway around the world- I get lazy with the updates. So I forced myself to sit down and finish the damn chapter. I took the time. I care…**

**Er… anyways, I hope you enjoyed this delayed update! Next chapter will be the feast and more interaction between our favorite Irish pairing. Please review! Feedback is always a pleasure to receive. Cheers!**


	6. Waiting for Later, Wanting Now

**Chapter 6**

_When she opened her eyes, she was covered in cobwebs, and the candles at their table and all around the dining hall were out. Darkness blurred her vision but her eyes went to the center of the room to see the old woman, Thomas Collins' mother, crushed under the broken chandelier. She lifted her head, gazing hatefully in Arthur's direction. She picked up the fallen dagger on the ground next to her and thrust it at the prince. _

_She opened her mouth to scream when out of the corner of the eye, she spotted Merlin at Arthur's side immediately, grabbing him and throwing him back before the dagger hit him…_

Morgana lurched out of her bed with a loud gasp. She scanned her chambers, breathing heavily. The ward was making sure it was just a dream. And thankfully, it was. She sighed in relief and lay back in her bed, staring up at the canopy. It had all been so real; the cobwebs on her skin, the weapon aimed at Arthur, inches away from taking his life, Merlin jumping in and saving him. Or was it an omen? A prediction of the future's events? Morgana closed her eyes, fighting the urge to cry. How could her mind torture her like this? She had not done anything wrong in her life, nor was she evil. Was this part of her father's punishment? Make his daughter suffer as well?

It was still the middle of the night. Morgana turned over on her side and attempted to get back into sleep. She needed it, seeing as it had been hard enough when she first lay down.

The following morning, the ward decided to join the king and prince for breakfast. Maybe it would show Uther that Morgana was learning to behave respectfully now. To her surprise, Lady Helen was at the breakfast table with them, chatting animatedly with the king while Arthur sat at ate, looking bored by their conversation. His eyes lit up when Morgana walked in.

"Good morning, my lord," Morgana addressed, plastering a smile on her tired face, "And Lady Helen. Good morning, Arthur."

"'Morning!" Arthur greeted, "Someone overslept today."

"Good morning, Lady Morgana," Lady Helen smiled, "Come, sit with us, you must be hungry." She held out a hand for the woman to come sit next to her.

"Thank you," Morgana nodded her head, taking a seat next to the singer. Gwen was trustily behind her, filling her cup with water. She thanked her and took a sip from her cup.

"I trust you slept well, Morgana?" Uther asked, though he did not sound like he cared.

"I did, my lord, thank you," she replied smoothly, lying through her teeth. The king nodded and turned his attention back to Lady Helen, a glimmer of interest in his eyes. "What were you saying just now?"

He didn't find Morgana worth his time. Not at all. He never asked for her opinions, held a normal conversation with her, did not even truly care how she was feeling anymore. Morgana was just his pretty figure to keep around, gliding through the corridors of the castle, hanging on to his every word. Uther did not even allow her to keep the dagger Arthur had gifted her. He was unreasonably ridiculous, the way he held her back like this. Morgana was no more a ward than Merlin was fairly treated. Her cheeks flushed and she hoped no one noticed when she thought of last night.

"Well, as intriguing as this conversation is," Arthur announced, getting up, "I'm off to training. I shall see you tonight at the feast." He tipped his head to all three of them and left without another word. Morgana's shoulders sank. Arthur was the only reason she even tolerated Uther's presence. Without him, the king would start in on her and criticize and then proceed to make her feel as uncomfortable as possible.

"Will he be there tonight at the feast, sire?" Lady Helen asked.

"He would not miss it for the world," Uther promised.

"Shame I never got to meet him. The last time I came, he was away. Only Morgana was still here." Lady Helen turned to smile in an obligatory manner at the king's ward. This time, the woman did not return it. Instead, she forced herself to eat something.

"That's Arthur," Uther shrugged, picking at the fruit on his plate.

"Poor child," muttered the singer.

"Hmm?"

"_Poor child_," she repeated. "It can't have been easy to grow up without a mother." Lady Helen carried on nonchalantly, and this had an effect on the king. Not that Morgana enjoyed others' pain, but it did make her a bit happy to see Uther the uneasy one this time. "That bond between mother and son… it's so hard to replace."

"Hasn't been easy," Uther admitted, not meeting Lady Helen's eyes.

"I'm sure." The singer's tone seemed to change, becoming cool and stiff. And then, just like that, became cheery and warm. "Perhaps if you found someone! If you remarried… I'm sure you'd have the pick of any woman."

Uther chuckled. "Well, you are right there. I do have my pick of any woman." His eyes glazed over Morgana for a quick second before he raised his cup to his lips. The single bite the ward had taken pulled a turn in the opposite direction and she swallowed to keep the contents down. What in God's name was _that_ supposed to mean?

"Not too late," Lady Helen urged, picking up her own water, "Let's hope not for Arthur."

Morgana could not take this anymore. "If you will excuse me," she muttered, standing up, "I have to go get ready for the feast tonight."

"Are you well?" Lady Helen looked worried.

"I'm fine" was the ward's curt response. She hurried out of the dining hall and did not stop until she was safely inside her chambers, away from the atmosphere that was around the breakfast table. The underlying context of Lady Helen and Uther's words haunted her mind, momentarily pushing away any thoughts of her encounter with Merlin. The king did have his pick of any woman he wanted… why did he look at her? He couldn't possibly be thinking of _marrying _Morgana. She was his son's age! And Gorlois would not stand for it. He may still have been banished but he would throw himself into the lakes of the island if it meant Morgana would be freed.

_Focus, Morgana. Don't let it get to you_. It was so difficult. All of this… Uther, Arthur, her father, and now Merlin… how could she keep up with all of it? It was as if life was throwing all these hardships at her and expecting her to come out of it with barely a scratch. Yes, Morgana was strong, but she was still human. She had her limits like everyone else. Unless she was part of some destiny she did not know of. But even _that_ was wishful thinking.

Gwen came by to do her laundering as she shifted through her dresses, trying to decide on the perfect one to wear for tonight. Morgana lay out her options before turning to her mirror and fixing her hair. Once her maid was back, she could help her choose. She heard footsteps outside her door and turned her back to it, throwing her hair over her shoulders. "Oh good, you're back," she called out, not looking behind her. "I need helping deciding on dresses."

The maid was not responding but Morgana did not think too much on it. "Can you believe breakfast this morning?" she brought up, disappearing behind her screen. "Speaking about Arthur like he is someone to be pitied… I've been thinking about him, you know. I'm a bit worried. He hasn't asked to accompany to the feast. I am the king's ward… shouldn't he?"

Gwen was silent. Morgana pressed further. "_Shouldn't he_?"

"Mhmm!" she responded loudly, though her voice sounded strained. Morgana raised an eyebrow. "Yes… pass me the dress on the chair, will you, Gwen?"

Quietly, Gwen slid the dark blue and red dress over the top of her screen and the ward took it. "If he doesn't, then Uther will. And you know I'd rather Arthur do it. Or go by myself. Much, _much_ rather." Morgana paused to slip the dress over her head. "But he hasn't asked me, and I'm afraid to even bring it up. What if he laughs at me? Or tells his father? I wouldn't want that, now would I?"

"Nuh uh," came Gwen's croaky voice.

Morgana turned around and tried to peer over the screen. "Where are you?"

"Here!" Her eyes found Gwen with her blue and silver dress covering her face. She slipped the sleeves of her own on her shoulders and she peeked out from behind the screen. "Do you have a cold?"

"Nope!" she shrieked. Now, that was _definitely_ not Gwen's voice. At least… Gwen didn't shriek like that…

"I need some help with this fastening," she called out, turning back. She waited a few seconds then called Gwen's name again. No answer. Impatiently, Morgana stepped out. "Gwen, what in the world is- _Merlin_!" She stopped short and clutched the dress to her body, even though she was fully covered.

"My lady!" Merlin exclaimed, stumbling back and dropping her dress. "I was… you… I swear I wasn't…"

"What are you doing here?" she demanded, "Have you been impersonating Gwen this whole time?"

"I… yes," Merlin gave in, cheeks turning so red, Morgana was positive they would stay like that for the rest of the day. "I'm sorry, my lady, I was just delivering your sleeping draught, I didn't mean to startle you."

"Oh… oh right," Morgana calmed down, offering up a sheepish smile, "Silly of me to overreact. But… why didn't you say anything?"

"I was going to!" Merlin stammered, voice shaking a little. "But, um… you started talking and I didn't… I didn't want to seem like I was intruding or anything. I sort of went along with it, I guess."

"Well, you certainly gave me a fright," the ward chuckled nervously. Merlin smiled a little and they both stood there awkwardly. Morgana's eyes swept over him, taking in his features. She was embarrassed to admit it even to herself but she always did think the man in her dreams was rather good-looking. For a serving boy, of course! But he could not compare to the real thing; Merlin was much more handsome in real life, at least because Morgana could get a better look at him. She snapped back into reality, and inspected herself. "Do you mind… helping me with my buttons?"

Merlin's face blushed a deeper scarlet, one would mistake him for a cherry. "Er, uh… y-yes, sure! Of course!"

Morgana nodded appreciatively, turning around. "Just button those up and I'll be good." She combed her hair back over one shoulder and waited as Merlin's shaky fingers moved up the buttons on her dress. His fingertips brushed against her skin, lightly tickling her, they were shaking so much. "Are you alright?" she asked curiously.

"Yes!" Merlin assured, louder than he should have. "You're done." Morgana turned around as Merlin stepped back, folding his hands behind his back and looking anywhere but at the ward.

"Thank you, Merlin," she smiled.

"Don't mention it, my lady," he murmured shyly. Suddenly, he remembered the draught in his hand. "Oh! Let me not forget why I came here. This is for you." He handed her the dark brown bottle wrapped in cloth. "Courtesy of Gaius."

"Ah, yes, thank you for this as well!" Morgana took the draught and put it on her table. "I was running low."

"He said you had nightmares?" Merlin presumed, shifting the weight from one leg to the other.

Morgana sighed. "Yes, it's troublesome. Some nights they prevent sleep and as you can see… I'm not looking my best without it."

"What? No! You're crazy!" Merlin argued. Morgana whipped around and stared at him. The serving boy clamped a hand over his mouth and widened his eyes. Arthur was right; Merlin did have a tendency to let his impulsive tongue get the best of him.

"And why am I crazy, Merlin?" Morgana said calmly, crossing her arms, playing a little game with him.

"I didn't mean to say that, I'm sorry," Merlin rambled. "You're not crazy, really my lady, I'm not trying to be funny-"

"But something I said must have triggered you to call me that! Pray tell, what is it?" Morgana waited patiently. "Go on then, I don't have all day."

"I… I just wanted to say that… you shouldn't say you're not looking your best. Because you look very… very lovely, Lady Morgana." Merlin finally looked up at her, into her eyes, and the woman knew that he was not messing with her. Morgana found herself feeling touched by his words. It was a nice change from the constant putting down and telling her how dreadful she looked with bags under her eyes.

"That's very sweet, Merlin. Thank you." Morgana went over to her dresses. In an ironic turn of events, it was the ward who was now trying to hide her blushing cheeks. "But I could really use the sleep, like everyone else."

"What are your nightmares about?" questioned Merlin. "Not that it's my business! But… I suppose I'm just curious."

"I can't really say, they change around a lot," Morgana answered, picking up a dark red dress and rubbing the fabric between her fingers. She pressed it to her body and examined herself in the mirror. "What do you think?"

"It's beautiful," Merlin said, sounding genuine in his opinion. "For the feast?"

"Yes, I want to look my best. But now I'll have to choose what accessories will go with it." She put the dress down and went to her drawers to find suitable jewelry. She was hoping Merlin would stop asking questions about her nightmares- eventually, it would lead to the dreams about him.

"Lady Morgana, I know you're busy, but I was hoping you could maybe explain what happened last night." The woman froze, dropping a necklace. She had forgotten about that…

"It's not that it wasn't a pleasure to finally meet you, but… you left me very confused," Merlin confessed. "Have I done something wrong?"

Morgana exhaled. "No, Merlin, it wasn't you." She straightened up. "There was a reason… but I cannot tell you now." She faced him, and he looked puzzled as ever.

"Why not?" he pressed forward, "There were some things you were about to say and then you stopped yourself and moved on to another sentence. And you seemed kind of upset that I said I knew you long before you even knew me…"

"I wasn't upset!" Morgana insisted defensively. "I was surprised, yes, but not upset!"

"Okay, but why you did come see me?" Merlin asked, sounding less nervous each time he spoke, "There was quite clearly a reason why you were down there, interrogating me like I'm part of some inquisition."

"Perhaps I just wanted to know who would dare defy Prince Arthur," Morgana replied casually, though her cover-up was mediocre at best.

"…there are other ways to find out, my lady," Merlin pointed out, looking at her weirdly. "You could have gone to Gaius and asked to meet me. Lord knows I've wanted to meet you for a very long time."

Morgana's eyes twinkled. "You have?"

He nodded. "I have. Of course I imagined it… differently than last night, and not exactly like right now."

"Timing isn't my specialty. Looks like it's not yours either," Morgana forced a laugh. Merlin followed up with a weak chuckle. The silence that came after was soon interrupted by Guinevere walking in with Morgana's laundered clothes. She looked surprised at the two of them, but Morgana was extremely relieved. Another second of this, and she would spill secrets she would regret.

"Guinevere!" Morgana greeted, "Finished with the laundry?"

"Yes, I have," Gwen nodded, looking to Merlin. "Hello there. You must be Merlin, Gaius's new assistant."

"And you must be Morgana's maid, Guinevere," Merlin said, smiling.

"My friends call me Gwen," the maid shrugged with the basket in her hand.

"Yes, well, Merlin was just on his way out!" Morgana said, shooting the warlock a look. "I have to get ready for tonight."

"Of course, right!" Merlin agreed, ducking out of the way and going for the door. "Nice meeting you, Gwen!" He waved and disappeared quickly. Gwen turned to Morgana, raising an eyebrow.  
"New friend of yours, my lady?"

"He was just delivering my sleeping draught," the ward answered, holding up the bottle. "Just put my laundry over there." She pointed to the other side of the room. Gwen was smiling in a strange way and made to put Morgana's clothes in her closet.

"Hey!"

Morgana jumped and turned around to see Merlin was back, peeking from behind her door.

"What is it, Merlin?" she addressed in a low voice.

"Are you ever going to explain what happened last night?" he asked.

"Is everything alright, Morgana?" Gwen called out.

"Later, Merlin," Morgana snapped, waving a hand for him to leave. "Later."

"I'll hold you to it, my lady." With a cheerful smile, Merlin left, for real this time. Gwen cleared her throat and looked at the ward expectantly.

"Newcomers," Morgana scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Aren't they a riot? Anyway, I was thinking for my dress…"

* * *

_Later, eh?_ Merlin thought triumphantly to himself as he walked down the halls of the castle. He could not believe how is luck had turned around in one night. Two conversations with the Lady Morgana, and a promise of another one! Okay, maybe not a promise, but close enough! If that one went well, then there would be another and then another and more to come. Who knew what could grow out of this!

Gaius had bailed him out this morning and fortunately, Merlin had no extra run-ins with Arthur. The physician lectured him on staying out of trouble and not making his magic known. The warlock had feared it would escalate into something worse because he wanted to yell back, shout his frustrations at Gaius. But it wasn't his fault; he thanked the old man for having his back and he would never forget it. Gaius told him that maybe there was a reason he was the way he was and Merlin had every intention of finding out… right after he got to know Morgana even better!

Merlin had another potion to deliver and then he could go back to what he now considered his chambers. This one was to the guest of Camelot, the Lady Helen. She was to sing at the feast. Merlin found the singer's room without and trouble and peered in. The woman was nowhere to be found. He would have to leave it at her table so Lady Helen could take it before she performed tonight. Merlin turned to leave when his attention caught something- a lot of straw wrapped to look like a doll. It was strange and sort of scary-looking. He picked it up and inspected it, wondering if it was another hobby of the singer's to make weird straw dolls and play with them. Merlin put the doll down and found another interesting object. He brushed aside a jeweled cloth to reveal a small, leather-bound book tied with a piece of string, ripped pages stuffed inside. Glancing over his shoulder, he picked that up and flipped it over a few times. What could it be? Was it an artifact of magic? The appearance made it seem so. Yet why would the Lady Helen be practicing magic?

The warlock would have investigated further but he heard footsteps hurrying to the chambers and rapidly put everything back where he found it and whipped around just in time to face the Lady Helen herself. "What are you doing here?" she demanded, looking fearfully past him at her mirror.

"Um, I was told to deliver this," Merlin hastily explained, handing the yellow bottle to the singer. He attempted to smile and so did she but neither were successful. He left her room, not enjoying this encounter as much as the last one with Morgana. It was turning into quite a habit, getting caught by women in their own chambers. A habit he was hoping he could kick.

In the evening, Gaius and Merlin left their chambers and went to the dining hall, where the guests were already milling about, greeting and talking to each other. He was quite amazed by his sights- it was funny, but he had a right to be excited, this being his first official feast. Granted, Merlin was here to work, but still, it was something!

Gaius bowed his head to the guests and Merlin stood beside him next to the dinner table, happily observing the people around him. Right away, he spotted Prince Arthur talking with his group of friends and immediately looked away. There was no use in getting into more trouble tonight, especially with the Lady Morgana around. Speaking of, where was the king's ward…

Arthur turned back and froze but he wasn't looking at Merlin. The serving boy followed his gaze and nearly fainted. There she was. Dressed in the red halter gown she had shown him today, adorned with jewelry and her hair pulled up, revealing her pale neck. The noises in the background faded away and everyone stopped and stared as the Lady Morgana sauntered gracefully to the king's table, smiling politely at the guests. When her eyes found Merlin's, she looked away shyly but Merlin did not have the manners to lower his gaze. He stared in awe, completely captivated by her beauty. _God have mercy_, he thought.

"Merlin!" Gaius hit his arm, ruining his moment. "You are here to work!" Merlin nodded absentmindedly and moved to follow Morgana. If luck were on his side tonight, she would stop and talk to him. He stopped when Arthur approached Morgana and began to speak to her. His shoulders sank and the smile disappeared from his face.

"She looks great, doesn't she?"

Merlin looked next to him to see Gwen, smiling admiringly at Morgana. He looked back, smiling again. "Yeah…"

"Some people are just born to be queen!" Gwen shrugged, placing a jug of water on the table. Merlin shot her a frantic look. "No!"

"Well, I hope so!" Gwen said optimistically, "One day… and hopefully to Arthur and not… never mind."

"Not who, Gwen?" Merlin asked. He remembered what Morgana had been talking about earlier today, about not wanting Uther to escort her to the feast. He had wondered why, but Gwen had just thrown him a clue. "Not… Uther, you mean?"

Gwen's skin turned a pretty shade of pink. "No, no! I was talking about Arthur, strictly about Arthur! I mean, not that I want to be her! Who would want to marry Arthur…"

Merlin gave her a funny look and chuckled. "What? Not into those rough, tough, save-the-world kind of guys?"

"No," Gwen smiled, rolling her eyes, "I like much more ordinary men, like you."

Merlin took it as a compliment. "Oh believe me, I'm not ordinary."

"No, I didn't mean you!" Gwen said, sounding like she was panicking and rethinking her choice of words. "Honestly, not _you_. Just an ordinary man… _like_ you."

"Thanks…" Merlin and Gwen stared at each other before turning their heads away. He wasn't sure what to make of her- from what he could tell, she was very nice and thought highly of Morgana. But she was a bit jumpy, like everything Merlin said, she took seriously. Was there even the slightest possibility Gwen found herself attracted to him? The idea was crazy but it left a vast smugness in Merlin that lasted up until Uther made an announcement.

"We have enjoyed twenty years of peace and prosperity," he began, smiling brightly. Next to him stood his son, proud and tall, and his ward, stiff and troubled. "It has brought the kingdom great pleasure and myself. But few can compare the honor of introducing… Lady Helen!" Merlin was standing a few paces away from the king's table and watched as everyone broke out into applause. Everyone must have had a lot of love for Lady Helen's singing. They all took their seats, ready to listen to her.

Lady Helen was dressed in yellow for the occasion. She took a breath before she raised her head and began singing, walking down the center path of the dining hall. Her voice was melodic, musical, overall lovely. It had this lullaby-ish quality to it. Merlin could imagine himself dozing off at just hearing it. In fact, he felt like dozing off right now, it was so calming and sweet… Merlin shook his head and widened his eyes when he realized Lady Helen's singing was putting everyone to sleep. Promptly, he covered his ears and watched in horror as the candles went out and the room darkened. The people slowly closed their eyes and nodded off. Cobwebs started to form all over them. And yet, Lady Helen kept singing. She was staring fiercely at Prince Arthur. From her pocket, she pulled out a dagger, her voice growing louder and tenser.

_Wake up, you idiot, wake up!_ Merlin urged, his eyes diverting back and forth until they looked up. _The chandelier!_ Seizing the opportunity to use his magic, Merlin's eyes flashed a brilliant gold and the chandelier came crashing down on top of Lady Helen, stopping her from throwing her dagger. She crumbled to the ground in a heap, dropping her weapon.

It had done the trick. Everyone in the room opened their eyes and looked around in confusion as to why they were covered in cobwebs. King Uther stood from his table and looked over at the woman. Merlin did too and held his breath. It wasn't Lady Helen after all- it was the old woman from the square, Thomas Collins' mother. It all made sense now… the book, the straw doll… she _had _been using magic.

Arthur rose from his chair, his expression mimicking that of his father's. The woman lifted her head, glaring at the prince. She grabbed the dagger and with a grunt, thrust it at him before falling back down. Without thinking, Merlin slowed down the speed of the weapon, stepped forward and grabbed Arthur by his shoulders, throwing the two of them back. Once he was safely out of the way, his eyes went back to blue and the dagger stabbed Arthur's chair instead. When they got to their feet, all eyes were on Merlin, shock etched on their faces. Anxiously, the warlock rubbed the back of his head and tried not to be intimidated by the way Arthur was staring at him right now.

Uther came to his son's side, looking eternally grateful. "You saved my boy's life," he murmured, "A debt must be repaid."

"Uhhh, well…" Merlin stuttered.

"Don't be so modest, you shall be rewarded," Uther insisted.

"Honestly, you don't have to, Your Highness…"

"I absolutely have to! This merits something quite special." The king clapped his son on his shoulder. "You shall be awarded a position in the royal household. You shall be Prince Arthur's manservant!" Not bothering to see Merlin nor Arthur's reaction, Uther walked away to dispose of the old woman's body.

"Father!" Arthur protested. Him and Merlin glanced at each other before turning away, Arthur displeased by the decision, and Merlin… well, the warlock was unsure how to feel. Especially not since everyone broke out into applause again, this time for Merlin. He couldn't help the smile on his face when he spotted Gaius grinning at him proudly. So it would seem he _could _do something right with his magic…

Arthur walked away from him and Merlin saw him and then his eyes found Morgana, gazing at him with such intensity, he forced himself not to look away. She was studying him, trying to figure him out. Sheepishly, he offered her a smile and the corners of her mouth twitched, struggling to return it.

Something told Merlin that after this, "later" was one hundred percent going to happen.

* * *

**A/N: I don't know if any of you noticed, but I see a love triangle coming out of this- one that involves Prince Arthur. Who knows, maybe he has feelings for Morgana too! Oh, I forget… I'm the one who knows! And you all will too, sometime in the near future. Do not fret! This story is pure Mergana and shall stay that way.**

**Just to clear things up, Morgana is not related in any way to the Pendragon family, meaning Arthur is not her brother and Uther is not her father. I thought it would shake things up a bit, not making her the daughter of the king. Also, quick note, Merlin has not met the Great Dragon yet. I'll add that in, since it's crucial.**

**Please review! The next chapter shall come after I update one of my other stories. By the way… you should go catch up on those too. Just saying!**


	7. Two Destinies Intertwined

**Chapter 7**

A week after the Lady Helen episode, Morgana still could not shake away how she was feeling; everything had been precise, exactly as it had been in her dreams. The dagger thrust in Arthur's direction, Merlin jumping forward and pulling him back, the details of the overall scene- it was no coincidence. No one would believe her, not even Arthur, and he thought the world of the ward. Ever since then, she had been careful to avoid running into anyone who might pry. Morgana feared her expressions gave away more than she wanted them to. She had been especially careful to avoid Merlin, as he was still waiting on an explanation from her. Morgana's dreams were pieces of the future and Merlin was increasingly becoming a big part of it. How could she explain any of this to him? He would think she was crazy, suggest she get help from Gaius. Worse, he might tell the king and Uther would take matters into his own hands.

Gwaine was frequently becoming her source for news on the many goings-on of the castle and the lower town and anywhere else in Uther's realm. Morgana had taken to staying in her room more often in an attempt to figure these dreams out herself. Top story was Merlin being the first manservant who could handle what Prince Arthur dished at him. The others lasted a week tops, but the knight told her it looked as though Arthur finally found someone who could help him. _In an odd way, they complete each other_, he had said yesterday, laughing, _I've yet to meet anyone who has the same amount of patience for Arthur as Merlin does. _This surprised Morgana too. Arthur could be difficult to get along with. It took time to earn his trust and respect and maybe a longer time to be considered a friend of his. Could Merlin be one of them? She would have to wait and see.

The ward had skipped breakfast with the king and prince that morning once again. She had more often and today, Uther had sent a request that Morgana for once join them for lunch. He wasn't asking her; he was telling her. Best to do as she was told, for her own sake. Upon entering the dining room, she held her breath when she saw Merlin tending to Arthur. Neither the prince nor the king noticed her walk in. It wasn't until Gwen nudged her gently that Morgana realized she was glued to her spot. "My lady?" Gwen addressed, showing the way to her chair. The woman nodded and went to sit down, refusing to believe the pair of eyes burning down on her belonged to Merlin.

"Ah, Morgana," Uther greeted, turning his attention to her. "Nice of you to join us for once."

"Of course," she murmured, watching Gwen pour water into her cup. "Have I missed anything important?"

Arthur shrugged. "Nothing, really. Except for Merlin, my new manservant here. Merlin?" He looked up and shot a sly smirk at the boy. Merlin's face turned red and he kept his head low. Arthur held his hand out to the ward. "Merlin, meet the Lady Morgana, the king's ward. She's been absent all week, I doubt you've caught a glimpse of her yet." Morgana stared at Arthur frantically before lifting her gaze up to Merlin. How could she forget? No one, save for Gwen and Gwaine, knew that her and Merlin had spoken before. Twice! And the second time in her room while she was getting dressed!

"The Lady Morgana is a guest of ours," Uther made sure to point after swallowing a bite of food. "She has for many years, under my watchful eye until her father returns."

"Pleasure, my lady," Merlin said shyly, as though meeting her for the first time. Morgana managed a smile his direction, silently thanking him for not admitting they met before. It would require a bunch of explaining that would not be good for either of them.

"Okay, that's enough gawking," Arthur interrupted, lifting his cup. Merlin snapped out of his trance and hastily refilled his drink before walking away. The way he was holding the jug, Morgana would think he was hiding the creeping blush on his cheeks.

"What a surprise, Arthur," she spoke, reaching for her eating utensils in an attempt to force some food down her throat. "You've actually found a servant you can keep!"

Arthur rolled his eyes before sending another glance at Merlin. Him and Gwen had their backs turned. "Don't get too excited, Morgana." The ward shrugged her shoulders, merely teasing the prince.

"Has your father written recently?" Uther interrupted their conversation. Morgana wanted to glare at him. He should know, shouldn't he? He was the reason they barely sent letters to each other, making sure contact was cut off as much as possible between father and daughter.

"No, he hasn't," she replied briskly, keeping her eyes down on her barely touched meal. She had taken two bites, and now felt full already.

"You should write him, he must be getting worried about you," the king suggested in a manner so obligatory, Morgana would have wasted no time tossing her food at his face. Instead, she sucked it up, forced a smile so stiff it hurt her muscles, and nodded her head. She would do it after lunch, and pray for weeks on end that he would respond.

"It's a nice day," Arthur mentioned, "I was thinking of going for a ride. Morgana, would you care to join me?"

The ward looked from Arthur to Uther and then back to Arthur. "I… I would love to, but perhaps not today…"

"Nonsense," Uther waved off, "You should go. Get some fresh air, maybe some color on that pale skin of yours."

Morgana raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure, my lord?"

"Of course I am. Arthur could use the company, he's always going off on his own."

"Exactly! It'll be the two of us now. And it's about time you left the castle for a little bit," Arthur pointed out, looking triumphant. Morgana couldn't help but smile genuinely this time. "Alright, why not? It's a lovely day, a ride wouldn't hurt." She was able to take a few more bites of her food, happy that she could get away for even an hour, and with good company. But if Morgana wasn't mistaken, she noticed the change in Merlin's expression. He looked disappointed, like he was waiting for something and it never came. Morgana knew what it was. The explanation she owed him. And she was not doing a nice thing, avoiding him like this. But really… when was the last time she was out of the castle?

After lunch, Arthur told her to meet him outside at the front of the castle in half an hour. Morgana agreed and they separated ways. For the first time in forever, Morgana felt her spirits lifting. Maybe Uther was slowly starting to let go a little. He did, after all, practically insist that Morgana go with Arthur. It had to mean _something_, didn't it?

"My lady." Morgana stopped, just a few more paces away from her chambers. She knew that voice well, as it had been replayed in her head many times from past conversations. The woman turned around and met the intense blue eyes of none other than Merlin himself.

"Merlin," she addressed, nodding her head and turning to walk into her room. "I would love to stay and talk, but I really should be getting ready-"

"Please, all I ask is for a minute of your time," Merlin interrupted, following her inside and closing the doors behind him.

"You did not even ask to come in!" Morgana snapped, whipping around, hands on her hips.

"If I asked, you would've said no," the boy muttered, hiding his red face.

"Merlin, if this is anything to do with a week ago, I don't have time to explain-"

"You've been ignoring me all week," Merlin cut in. "And don't say you've been busy. I know you've been purposely hiding in your chambers just so you wouldn't have to talk to me. You said you would talk to me, but you're constantly putting it off. And I'm sorry, but once I need to know something, I will persistent to the point where I rudely invite myself into your room."

Morgana bit her lip. She had been a bit flaky, leaving Merlin in the dark with her strange behavior. But he hadn't given her enough time to conjure up a decent enough lie to let the matter go and never go back to it.

Merlin slowly took a step to her. "I saw the look on her face, the night I stopped saved Arthur," he spoke quietly. "You were shocked out of your wits, but it was also like you were confused. In fact, it was the same exact look you had when I first saw you at your window."

"Have quite a memory for my expressions, don't you?" Morgana huffed. "And honestly, Merlin, why wouldn't I be shocked? Keep in mind this was before I was aware that you already knew my name. And I was not confused." _No, actually. I was terrified at how I had predicted that the event would happen right before my eyes._

"And don't get me started on visiting me while I was down in my cell that night!" Merlin reminded. "You have to tell me just what in the world that was about, because I can't stop wondering about it. Why were you asking me all those questions? And why did you seem so excited to see me? It's almost like you were… I don't know…"

"Spill it out, serving boy, you're on a roll here." Morgana waited for it, preparing her reaction.

"Expecting me," the boy finished, looking unsure of himself.

Morgana pretended to hold back a chuckle. "Merlin, that is ridiculous. How can I expect someone I've never met?"

"You said you wanted to speak to me!" Merlin thrust his hands up and let out a frustrated sigh. "You said, and I remember this _very_ clearly, that the timing could not have been more perfect, that me being here could be a way to explain it all. Whatever 'all' is, I have no idea, but I would appreciate it if you would just tell me!"

"Don't yell at me!" Morgana snapped, sending a glare at the serving boy. "I am the king's ward and you will not speak to me in such a way!"

"And I'm Prince Arthur's servant. I may be viewed as nothing, but I'm still human and I deserve answers," Merlin retorted, crossing his arms. "You owe me, even just one response to one of the many questions I have. _Please_."

The woman closed her eyes and inhaled deeply before reopening them and breathing out a sigh. "Merlin… there are some things that no matter how many times I explain, it will never make sense."

"Why not?" he urged, coming closer.

"You wouldn't understand," Morgana replied, shaking her head. And he wouldn't. How could Merlin hope to understand her condition? Her sleepless nights were the cause of strange visions, and he was frequently in them. Morgana would bet all her jewels that the minute she finished describing these dreams to him, Merlin would laugh in her face then run off to tell the king his ward had gone mad.

"Try me," Merlin insisted, "I may seem like a simple boy from a village but believe me, my lady, I'm more than that."

"This isn't a good time." Morgana averted her eyes away from his. "I have to get ready-"

Merlin reacted immediately. "Morgana, stop." He grabbed her hand without thinking, halting her again and a shock like fire ran through her at his touch. She stared down at his hand around hers and then up those blue orbs once more. He was looking down at her in such a way that was making her feel uncomfortable. The distance between them was tiny and if he came any closer…

"Look, I know you want to tell me something. And I don't know why you're holding back, but you don't need to," he said softly, "You can trust me, Morgana."

Yeah, right. Morgana couldn't trust anyone. It wasn't something she just handed out to the first servant that walked through the door. It took years before Morgana was able to fully trust her small group of friends. Gwen, Arthur, Gaius, and even Gwaine earned her trust, and she still never confided in them. What made this strange serving boy think she could go to him when she needed to talk?

She removed her hand from his grip. "I have to get ready."

Merlin's shoulders sank. "You're never going to tell me, are you?"

"You couldn't even attempt to understand if you tried," Morgana replied, not meeting his eyes, "You don't know me, what's happened to me over these past few years. And now you come to me and tell me that I can trust you? It doesn't work that way, Merlin. I'm sorry."

"That's not fair," Merlin argued, "_You_ came to_ me_. You started all of this."

"And now I'm ending it," Morgana cut in, walking over to her chamber doors and holding one door open. "I need you to leave, Merlin. Don't even bring this up again. Ever. Do you understand me?"

Merlin crossed his arms and looked at her defiantly. "Or what?"

Morgana pursed her lips, suddenly angry. "Or I'll tell Arthur to sack you because you're a bother to me. Is that understood?"

Merlin's face crumbled. "I… yes, my lady. Understood." It upset her inside, that she hurt him like this.

"Thank you," she murmured, not watching him live. She thought he would go without another word but he paused right next to her and sent her a sideways glance. "I said that merely out of respect. I hope you know I'm not going to give up."

Morgana whipped her head up and opened her mouth to say something. Unfortunately, she had no idea how to reply to him. After that, Merlin left, and Morgana just stood there, close to tears and she did not know why. What in the world was happening? It was as if Merlin was having some effect on her and she barely knew him! This was bad, very bad. He was only a servant, he wasn't a threat to her. But he was pretty adamant in figuring her out.

_Well_, she thought to herself, going over to her screen to get ready. _I'd just like to see him try. He won't succeed… but if he does… maybe he's more important than I thought._

* * *

Merlin was not in a fine mood that night when he went to bed. Then again, every day this past week, he had not been in a fine mood. Only seven days of being Prince Arthur's manservant and he could feel the ache in his bones, being worked to the ground. It was enough to have him wishing he was back home in Ealdor, with his mother. He missed her terribly but the warlock was plowing through, as best as he could.

Things had gone differently since he saved Arthur. Besides having a position in the royal household- the position he heard frequently that other servants would die for- he was finally presented with a tool that would help him with his magic. Gaius had studied magic in the times of the Old Religion and had a book of spells and enchantments that he happily passed over to Merlin. The warlock was overjoyed, promising he would study every word. And he did, every night when his work was done. The book was what kept him sane- it was his world, one that he could truly understand better than anything. Yet sadly, it was looking to be the only thing that kept Merlin in Camelot. The worst part of all this was how his hopes for him and the Lady Morgana to at least become friends were crushed. Broken into tiny fragments that the ward had made sure he could not put back together. All week, Merlin had tried to get answers out of Morgana. But she was always in her room and it made his heart hurt to think she was avoiding him. And then their confrontation in her chambers earlier today… that went disastrously. No matter how much Merlin would persist, Morgana would not budge. There was something going on, something he deserved to know because he was positive it involved him. But the ward's lips were sealed. Merlin was on the brink of giving up.

It took forever for the servant to finally drift off, troubled by thoughts of Morgana's behavior and Arthur's general prattness and the worried looks on Gaius's face, seeing his ward like this…

_Merlin. _

His eyes snapped open immediately. There it was… that same creepy voice that called out his name. He heard it loud and clear first when he was locked up in the dungeon a week ago. It had disappeared for a while and now it was back. Calling his name. _Merlin. _

Merlin lurched out of bed, unable to ignore it. He pulled his brown jacket on and went downstairs. He crept out Gaius's chambers as quietly as he could, stifling a smile at the old man's snoring figure in his bed. The voice came back and he began to find the source, leaving the castle and across the citadel square. It led Merlin to the castle dungeons.

The warlock successfully managed to distract the knights by using his magic to drive them away from their guard. All it took was giving their playing dice a mind of their own. Once he was sure they were gone, Merlin grabbed a torch and followed the voice, descending upon another set of stairs that led deep into Camelot's underground. The voice was growing louder and louder as he got closer. _Who was calling him?_

Finally, Merlin reached the end of the path and entered what looked to be a vast cave, decorated by variously shaped rocks. He heard a small laugh and looked around frantically and a bit frightened, waving the torch around in the darkness.

"Where are you?" he called out. Out of nowhere, something flew up at him, flapping its monstrous wings, scaring the life out of the warlock. Merlin doubled back, suppressing a scream and stared wide-eyed at what had landed on a large outcrop of rock. _Oh my God… it's the Great Dragon._

"I'm here," spoke the creature in the same voice that had called his name. The dragon had been communicating with him telepathically. Merlin took notice of the chains and remembered that the Great Dragon had been locked down here for two decades.

"So small you are," he commented, taking amusement in Merlin's fascination, "For such a great destiny."

"Why? What do you mean?" Merlin asked breathlessly. "What destiny?"

"Your gift, Merlin, was given to you for a reason," explained the dragon, settling down on his rock.

Merlin felt a smile form on his face. "So there _is_ a reason?" Finally! At least the dragon wasn't going to keep him in the dark!

"Arthur is the once and future king who will unite the land of Albion," the creature went on.

The warlock was now confused. What did Arthur have anything to do with his gift? "Right…"

"But he faces many threats, from friend and foe alike."

"I don't see what this has to do with me."

"Everything!" the Great Dragon responded, startling the boy a little. "Without you, Arthur will never succeed. Without you, there will be no Albion."

Merlin shook his head, doubting every word. "No… no, you've got this wrong."

"There is no right and wrong. Only what is and what isn't!"

"No, I'm serious!" Merlin insisted, "If anyone wants to go and kill him, they can go ahead! In fact I'd give them a hand, what with the way he's been treating me all week…"

The dragon chuckled lightly. "None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin. And none of us can escape it."

"No, no way," Merlin refused to believe, "There must be another Arthur because this one is an idiot."

"Perhaps it is your destiny to change that."

"I still don't believe it. Okay, there is no way you can convince me to go along with this… this destiny that's been planned for me all this time," Merlin snapped, waving his torch around for emphasis. "So, this is my purpose then? To use my magic to save his cocky backside so that I may still have the privilege to shine his shoes every night? No thank you. I don't care what you say, this is _not_ the destiny I want."

For effect, Merlin turned and was prepared to make a dramatic exit when the dragon stopped him. "Is that so? Well, what if I told you that your destiny is also intertwined with that of the Lady Morgana's?"

Merlin froze. _Damn you, dragon, you just had to mention Morgana._ He faced the magical creature, curiosity getting the best of him. "Go on."

"Morgana Le Fay has lived nearly her whole life with a tyrant, young warlock," the dragon continued, "Mistreatment and separation from her father has at the same time weakened her, yet also made her strong."

"I don't understand…" _When do I ever with Morgana?_

"All men with such great destinies will sooner or later be met with their doom, Merlin," the dragon cautioned, "An enemy, the darker half to their own self. One with a heart that has turned to ice, so cold and so hardened by its surroundings, that it is later consumed with inevitable bitterness."

"Whoa, whoa, hold up," Merlin held a hand out, "Are you telling me Morgana is my enemy?"

"I am telling you what will become of the future if you do not do as you are destined to do, young warlock." The dragon rose up from the rock. "Do not let it happen, Merlin. Know your destiny but know another's as well." His wings picked up speed and lifted off, flying away.

"Wait! Wait, stop!" Merlin yelled after him, "What does that mean? What's going to happen to Morgana? I need to know more."

But the dragon was gone.

* * *

**A/N: No extra notes for today, my dear readers! Hope you enjoyed the chapter and please review your shipper hearts out! xx**


	8. Whispering, Part I

**Chapter 8**

"I win again!" Morgana announced triumphantly, turning her neck to shoot Arthur a cocky grin that would have done his justice. Her white horse had beaten his black one in yet another competitive race out in the forest. He galloped up next to her, unable to contain the smile on his face. "No fair. You cheated."

"You've said that about four times this week, and yet it's no coincidence I win every time!" For the first time in a long time, Morgana felt so incredibly content and happy. Uther had made what looked like a complete turn-around, allowing her to go on rides with Arthur, watch him train with his knights while her and Gwen sat in the shade, _and_ he no longer picked on her anymore. It was the strangest thing, feeling like she was considered an actual human being at the dinner table and lately, she had been quick to laugh or smile without having to try so hard. Much to everyone's relief, Morgana started eating again as well, and these days, the unpleasant knot in her stomach was loosening up. It was a wonder how a little bit of freedom could lift the ward's spirits. A part of her should have felt suspicious; what was Uther playing at, letting go of his iron-fisted grip on her? Morgana had an aching feeling he was just humoring her and then one day he would take it all back and she would shrink into her depressive state once more. Then it would go away and she would enjoy herself as much as she could.

"Your horse is enchanted or something," Arthur retorted, refusing to believe Morgana had won their race.

She rolled her eyes and flipped her braid over her shoulder. "The obvious explanation, isn't it, Pendragon?"

"The only one that makes sense, Le Fay," Arthur teased, smiling fondly at her. "Though, I have to admit, you managed to get quite ahead, and not even the proper training to ride fast."

"With a little more, I may as well be a knight of Camelot," Morgana joked, adjusting the reins on her horse. "Maybe we could convince Uther to let you train me."

"I'd like that," Arthur nodded, pondering the idea, "Now that he's finally removed whatever was up his backside, he might let us spar like we used to."

"Maybe." Morgana leaned forward and mussed the hair on her horse lovingly. She didn't want to push her luck any further, but with Arthur at her side, they might change Uther's mind. Although she had no idea what brought about this recent attitude change, she liked to think that the king was finally attempting to keep his promise. It was wishful thinking, but maybe Morgana could see her father soon. Just maybe…

"Another round?" Arthur challenged, pulling her out of her private thoughts. "I bet I could win this time. If you're up for it, of course."

Morgana shook her head at him. "Let's just walk a little bit, enjoy nature as it is." She preferred that a lot more. Racing would waste her time outside, a time she wanted to spend enjoying the warm weather and the clean, fresh air.

"If you say so," Arthur agreed. They began to walk down a path, side by side, not speaking for a few moments until the prince opened up their conversation again. "I don't think I ever got the chance to say this, Morgana, but I'm really glad we could spend time together this week."

The ward felt touched and smiled at him sweetly. "I feel the same, Arthur. Being inside that castle all day drives me mad. And Gwen is wonderful company but it never hurts to add a variety."

"You're telling me. I spend most of my time with Merlin, sometimes I need to get away from it all." Morgana's smile faltered a little at the mention of Merlin's name. She had carefully been able to avoid him these past few days, reducing his chances of getting her to speak to him. But his persistence did not go missed. Several times a day, he would come to her door and when Gwen answered, he would deliver a fake message from Arthur. Morgana knew very well if the prince wanted to speak to her, he would come himself. The times Gwen wasn't there, Morgana never opened her door. She knew it was him because since last time, he was polite enough to knock and wait for an answer. And then yesterday, Gwen had gone to get her dinner and there were two knocks at her door. Morgana did not make a move until she heard his muffled voice through her chamber doors. It was Merlin, calling her name. Very quietly, she had come to the door and pressed her ear against it, waiting to see if he would say anything else.

"_I know you're there,"_ Merlin had said, _"I know you can hear me. Please, I need to talk to you. It's more than just what happened last week. It's what's happened to me. Please-"_

After that, if Morgana heard correctly, Merlin had been caught by someone, probably a knight, and had run off. She silently prayed for his sake that the knight hadn't reported to Uther that Arthur's servant was pestering the Lady Morgana. But he had caught her attention. What had he meant by that? What happened to him and what did it have to do with her?

"Are you alright, Morgana?" Arthur spoke, interrupting her thoughts again. He sounded worried and looked it when he cast his blue eyes onto her. "You seem a bit distracted."

Morgana shook her head and smiled again, a bit forcefully this time. "I was just humoring myself with what you said, with getting away from Merlin and all. You made it sound like you two were married."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Frighteningly enough, you make a good point. Don't even get me started on how much we banter. For a servant, he's got a surprisingly sharp tongue. He's quite funny, if I'm being honest." Arthur sounded almost fond when he said that then snapped back into his normal self. "But it doesn't change the fact that he's a complete idiot."

The woman giggled a little. "I thought all your servants were the same."

"Not this one. Despite being an idiot, Merlin is… different," Arthur decided on the word, "There's something about him, except I can't really place my finger on what it is. And he's changed this week, become more of a servant I want. Loyal, trustworthy, actually appears to care…" The prince drifted off again then frowned to himself. "There I go, talking about my servant like he's worth being brought up so frequently. Have I mentioned that he's lazy as hell and can't get a simple job done without whining?"

Morgana looked ahead of their trail, instantly troubled by what Arthur said. Whatever had happened to Merlin, it could have been the reason for his changed behavior. And for whatever other reason, he wanted Morgana to know. _Maybe I'm doing a bad thing, ignoring him like this. What if he really does have something important to say to me?_

"Enough about Merlin," Arthur dismissed, "He's getting far too much attention. Has my father told you that we are to have guests coming in a few days?"

"He spoke briefly of it, yes." Morgana was temporarily glad for the change of topic. "Though he left out the small detail of who and when."

"Understandably so," Arthur sighed.

"Why's that?" the ward questioned, eyeing him suspiciously.

"My father has written to King Bayard of Mercia, inviting him to Camelot to seal peace between our two kingdoms," the prince explained, slowing down his speeding up horse.

"Hang on… Bayard?" If Morgana's memory was not failing her, Uther used to bring that name up a few times in the past, even though he never spoke of political matters with her. Her opinion was the equivalent of useless drabble to his ears. "The name rings a bell. He wouldn't happen to be the same man who allied with my father when…" Morgana's voice trailed off. Arthur didn't say anything, but she knew she was in the right direction. When Gorlois had rebelled, Bayard had supported him. They had both aimed to bring Uther down and of course, ended up unsuccessful. Morgana remembered it clearly now. And she did not like it. Not at all.

"Yes… well, he… just a heads-up so you could prepare for the feast and whatnot," Arthur said quickly, looking the other way. "We should probably head back, Morgana, I still haven't gone to training-"

"Uther would take my father's kingdom and banish him but he would seek peace with Bayard?" Morgana fired at the prince, narrowing her green eyes angrily. "He would keep me prisoner for years on end but look to make friendship with a man who went against him?"

"I know it sounds that way," Arthur tried to reason with her, "But look, my father is changing things. Sealing peace with Bayard could mean that he's ready to free your father. And Morgana, you are not a prisoner. You are a ward here, you've never been treated as a prisoner."

Morgana laughed bitterly at that. "Oh, is that so? Where have you been, Arthur Pendragon? Out all day, training with your knights, hunting, rambling off orders to your servant… and where have I been? Shacked up inside a castle for years, taking orders from Uther like I am under his control. What, do you honestly believe that a few days' freedom with you means that your father has had a change of heart?"

"He's been unfair, I know," the prince admitted without bothering to argue with her.

"He's always been unfair," Morgana snapped, turning her horse around. "He dares to forge an alliance between another enemy kingdom but treat mine like it's dirt. He has punished my father and I for far too long." Without a warning, Morgana pulled her reins sharply and her horse charged away from Arthur at a rapid speed. The ward ignored the prince calling after her and fought back tears. There were a number of reasons why she wanted to cry. One, Arthur's announcement ruined a perfectly good start to the day. Two, Morgana was fed up with the prince trying to justify Uther's tyrannical behavior. Three, it hurt her that no one else seemed to notice how oppressed and abused she felt under the control of the king. And four, she just wanted to go home. Her real home with her father.

Thanks to her horse, Morgana arrived at the citadel in no time, slowing down once she was inside the square. Ignoring help from a knight, she jumped off her horse, picked up her dress, and hurried up the steps to the castle. Her anger turned her actions impulsive and she refused to think out what she was going to say. The ward asked a guard where she could find the king and he pointed her to the throne room, stating the king was tending to council matter. She burst open the doors of the throne room to find him sitting with the members of the court, deep into discussion while exchanging documents. Uther heard her entrance and looked up, raising a confused eyebrow. "Morgana," he greeted, "You're back early. Did you enjoy your-"

"How could you?" she said in a low, deadly voice. "How could torture my father and I for so long yet look to be friends with a man who was once your enemy?"

The council fell silent, turning their eyes to Uther. He stiffened a little but spoke calmly. "Now is not the time to discuss that, Morgana. Perhaps later…"

"You can't do that!" Morgana exclaimed, going towards him, "Bayard supported my father! And you would turn them against us?" She placed her hands on her hips and glared at the king, putting him in a tough spot. "That's it, isn't it? You seek an alliance to turn Mercia against my father?"

"Morgana, you are being ridiculous," Uther shook his head, rising from his chair. "We will talk at lunch, now if you will please-"

"I want to talk now!" Morgana demanded, "Just because you loosen up and let me go out with Arthur does not change whatever you've done in the past!"

A quiet murmur took over the members of the council. Uther looked angry now, but he kept his voice steady. "Guards," he called, "Please escort the Lady Morgana to her chambers, she is clearly distressed."

"I am not distressed," Morgana insisted, looking over her shoulder to see two guards coming for her. "I want answers! I want to talk about this now!" They reached for her arms and she tried to yank away from them, but they forcefully dragged her out. "Let go of me, I am not distressed!" Once she was out of the throne room and the chamber doors were closed, she freed herself from their grips, muttering that she could escort herself. Morgana was in big trouble, she knew it. But it didn't matter. She was angry and made sure to let Uther know. It was high time he did.

"Morgana!" The ward turned around to see Arthur running towards her. To make it all the more exciting, his trusty servant was trailing behind him. Morgana hated to say it, but they were both the very last people she wanted to see right now.

Arthur halted in front of her. "Don't do that next time!" he huffed, panting a little. "I got so worried, I thought you would get lost on your way back."

"Oh, because I've never been in the forest, right, Arthur?" Morgana snipped, "I need your guidance, your ever protective eye on me at all times." Arthur stared at her wide-eyed. Merlin stood a few steps behind him, eyebrows raised, looking a bit impressed with her retort. Not that Morgana was trying to take much notice of him anyway…

The prince turned around to look at Merlin. He told him to leave them. Merlin hesitated at first, but with another glance at Morgana, he went in the other direction, to Arthur's chambers. Morgana almost wanted him to stay there with them. Why, she didn't know. She just did.

"I understand you are upset, Morgana," Arthur replied, sounding a little hurt, "But you don't have to take it out on me. And you certainly don't have to run off without warning and go confront my father. You know what he could do if you cross him like that."

"That I know well," Morgana responded, averting her eyes to the floor as if it would help keep her voice from shaking. More punishments… more being banished to her room and not coming out. Which would then lead to being unable to eat, sleep comfortably, see her friends. And would put her father's life at more risk than it already was. Morgana had just seriously endangered the both of them; his release from Uther's hold depended on her best behavior… and she had messed up. After this, Uther would _never_ let them go…

"Morgana… don't, cry…" It took a moment for the ward to realize tears were streaming down her face. Arthur looked guilty now, having reminded Morgana of just how badly she had screwed up. He walked towards her, reaching for her. "Please, I didn't mean to…"

Without thinking, Morgana stepped away from Arthur's arms and wiped her tears hastily. "I… I'm fine. I'm just going to go to my room…" She avoided looking into his eyes again, for fear she had hurt him once more. Turning away, she walked past him. Thankfully, he did not chase after her but Morgana could feel Arthur's eyes watching her leave. How easily their day had been ruined…

Strangely, when Morgana got to her chambers, she did not let her tears flow freely. She sucked in a breath of air, asking Gwen if she could please be left alone for the rest of the day. It was in Gwen's nature to worry for her friend but one look at Morgana's green eyes told her the ward was not in the mood to explain. And so the serving girl left her alone. But Morgana was not truly alone. She had her own thoughts to keep her company… and make her suffer.

What had become of Morgana Le Fay, the daughter of Gorlois, the girl who had promised to be strong? Even on good days, there was always something that never failed to remind her how miserable she truly was. No matter who she was with, she was alone. Gwen, who was so sweet and kind, had to work twice as hard some days to bring a smile to her face. Morgana was finding that Gwen's most difficult task was to make her happy, when it should have been something normal, like laundry. Gaius, who she trusted with all her heart when it came to her dreams, but had never been as big of a help as she would have liked. And then there was Gwaine, who since day one, proved to be a loyal friend to her… but at the end of the day, his first priority was being a knight of Camelot. And Arthur… her best friend, her brother, the reason she was sane around Uther… most of her good memories involved Arthur. And Morgana knew he cared so much for her. But it wasn't enough. His love for her wasn't enough. Not anymore. The fact that not one of her friends could do anything to save her from this situation of hers was heartbreaking. If not even Arthur could… who was left for Morgana?

Her troublesome thoughts had kept her so occupied, that she didn't hear the familiar knocks on her door until a voice called out from behind them.

"_Lady Morgana_."

* * *

**A/N: "What…? No, no, Shady Love, what about the other half of the chapter from Merlin's point of view? We've yet to see things from his perspective!"**

**I'm feeling like a tease today, and giving you a nice cliffhanger. I know, I know, I'm terrible. But don't fret too much! The next chapter is already in the works. Don't know about the rest of you, but I am SO ready to start getting into the nitty-gritty of Merlin and Morgana's relationship. Raise your hand if you are too! And please review! xx**

**P.S. What songs are currently on your Mergana playlist? **


	9. Whispering, Part II

**Chapter 9**

"_Lady Morgana."_

Morgana raised herself from her chair and took one step towards the door before pausing, hesitating to go any closer. She knew very well who was speaking her name on the other side of the door. And she wasn't sure if she wanted him to see her this way. Morgana had held her tears in, but her eyes still had a glassy look to them, and hurrying back to Camelot on horse had given her a flustered appearance. She had so carelessly neglected to fix herself up, choosing instead to sit and wallow.

And Merlin had come to her door again. After seeing the way Morgana and Arthur spoke to each other earlier, he wouldn't skip out today. In fact, he had come earlier than Morgana normally expected him. He was also waiting longer than usual for her response rather than attempting to coax her into letting him in. Slowly, Morgana walked to the doors but she did not open them. Instead, she leaned in close until her lips were almost touching the tiny space between the doors and quietly replied, _"I'm here."_

The ward took the silence that followed as Merlin's surprised reaction. If she hadn't been feeling so down, she would have smiled at that moment. Morgana raised her voice a little, in case he hadn't heard her correctly. "Merlin? You're still there?" After a few seconds, she heard a near-silent _Yes_ in response. "Speak louder, serving boy," she said, shaking her head, "I can't hear you when you're muttering."

"Sorry… I've never had a conversation through chamber doors before," came Merlin's muffled voice, louder this time. Morgana bit back her smile, liking his sarcasm. It matched her own sense of humor. "I just don't want any guards catching me. Although…" He paused and Morgana pressed her ear against the door. "It would be easier if you would just let me in."

She swallowed back the growing lump in her throat. "I don't want to see anyone right now."

"You don't want to see anyone, yet you would talk to me?" Merlin didn't sound annoyed or upset with her. Morgana could be difficult when she wanted to be and it irritated most people. Even Arthur sometimes had trouble hiding his frustration with her. At this moment, Morgana expected she was frustrating Merlin. But he was being very patient with her. She pressed her palms against the door, sighing deeply. "It's… much easier when you're not looking at a person directly."

"It's just me." Morgana heard him chuckle and felt her stomach flip-flop. Had she ever heard him laugh before? If not, she had indeed been missing out. It was quite lovely to hear. Merlin continued, "I'm no one special, Lady Morgana. Just another serving boy who desperately wants to make sure you're alright."

_Right, because I have many lined up outside my door_. Morgana did not say that out loud. She didn't hear from Merlin but she liked to think he was smiling right now… and maybe in the same position as her, hands on the door, face leaning in only inches away from the crack between the doors…

"I wish you would have disagreed with that," said Merlin, and Morgana felt a small blush creep up on her cheeks. She wished she had too, as it seemed rude to follow up his comment on himself with silence. Thankfully, he sounded lighthearted and teasing, but still… it wasn't true. Morgana could try hard as she wanted, but Merlin was increasingly becoming more than just another serving boy who desperately wanted to talk to her. For what reason, she hoped she would find out soon.

"I'm sorry," the ward apologized, "But if I did, that would require a lot of explaining on my part."

"There's no need." Merlin said that so quietly, Morgana had to press her ear against the door hard enough that she might insert herself into it. "All you have to do is tell me I'm more than just that and I would be fine, Lady Morgana."

She breathed out a sad sigh. "It's more than that, Merlin." _It's my dreams. You're in my dreams. You _are_ important._

"You really should let me in. I'm afraid the guards might catch me and I doubt they'll let me go easy this time."

Morgana thought for a moment. She didn't want Merlin to get into trouble because of her being stubborn. On the other hand, she also did not want him to see her like this; on the verge of tears, ready to break down any minute. It would be humiliating if Morgana were to release all her frustrated, fed-up tears the minute she looked into those blue orbs of his. It made her reluctant to open the door; _what if she really did cry in front of him?_

"My lady?" She shook the thoughts from her head and exhaling deeply, she opened on chamber door a crack and peeked out a little. Merlin was quite close to the door, blinking at her hopefully. "Only if you're the one talking. Sound reasonable?"

"Sounds reasonable," Merlin whispered, hurrying her along with rapid hand motions, "Now please, let me in before they turn the corner and catch me!"

"Alright, alright…" Morgana opened the door just enough so that Merlin could slip in. She made sure no one had seen before turning to fix her eyes on his back. She looked away when she vaguely remembered the shock she felt on her skin when Merlin touched her last time. He stood taller than her, though he was a skinny one, less buff than Arthur. She watched him glance around her tidy chambers and pondered over how a boy like him could handle the constant demands made by the prince. Merlin looked to be inspecting her room and the woman assured him Gwen was not there so he could speak freely.

"Just making sure," he shrugged, trying to sound casual, but Morgana was an expert at masking her true emotions, and could detect easily when another was doing the same. Merlin sounded more relieved than he should have that Gwen wasn't here. Like he wanted to be alone with her…

"I suppose it's pretty secretive if you don't want Gwen knowing you're here," Morgana started, casually tucking a few stray pieces of hair behind her ear. Looking semi-presentable wasn't a low priority for her. "And I'm guessing Arthur doesn't know you are here either."

Merlin turned around and gave her a knowing look. "Of course not. No one does, not even Gaius."

Morgana smiled a little. "What did you tell them?"

"Gaius thinks I'm on an errand for Arthur. And Arthur thinks I'm on an errand for Gaius. I'm just praying they don't run into each other while I'm here." Merlin gave another shrug and smiled at her a bit shyly.

Morgana let out a small chuckle in spite of herself. "I certainly hope for your sake, that they don't."

"Not for a while anyway. Arthur's out training again, even though he was this morning." The ward's smile faded a little. Arthur trained overtime when he was upset or angry. The reason was usually Uther, when he put him down or told Arthur he was disappointed in him. She hated to think her little outburst had been the reason he was upset. The prince hardly blamed others; he ended up blaming himself, a quality that had been in him since he was a child. Someone else messed up, he took the blame. And after Morgana letting him know just how unhappy she was… Arthur would take that on himself too. She felt awful and made a mental note to speak to him later.

Merlin took notice of the troubled look on Morgana's face and seemed to read her thoughts. "I… suppose it may have something to do with… earlier today…"

"Yes, he… he does that when he's not in a good mood. It helps him blow off some steam," Morgana replied, looking down at her hands. "I would know. I see him do it sometimes from my window." The ward kept her head down and walked past him to the window, glancing out from it. Sure enough, Arthur was slicing his sword fiercely at a stuffed sack tied to a post. Last time Morgana saw him doing this was upon seeing the sheer disappointment on Uther's face after he lost a tournament. That was quite a long time ago, but it saddened her anyway.

Morgana felt Merlin walk up behind her, keeping a decent enough distance. "He feels guilty," he said quietly, "For, you know, upsetting you."

"I wish he wouldn't," Morgana whispered, not taking her eyes off the man she loved like a brother. "It's not his fault the way things are the way they are." She turned her head and saw that Merlin was actually quite close, despite the distance between them. It could have been because he was taller, that it felt like there was little space. "Did he say anything to you? About today?"

"Only that he made a mistake with you," Merlin answered, taking a step back. "This morning, when you were out… together." His voice sounded a little strained when he said the word _together_. Did it bother him?

Morgana glanced at Arthur before turning to face Merlin completely. "It wasn't his fault. It was mine. I'll speak to him later. And in case you were wondering, I'm fine. Really. I'll get it sorted out with Arthur and apologize to the king." For the second time, she walked past Merlin. If this conversation continued, he might start swimming through uncharted waters he'd never delved into before.

"I'd like to think you have a right to be angry, Lady Morgana," he said quietly, looking at the ground, not moving from his spot near her window.

"I overreacted. There was no reason to be angry," Morgana insisted. If she hadn't known how bad she made Arthur feel, then she wouldn't be placing any blame on herself.

"Nobody gets mad for no reason," Merlin said, taking a few steps towards her. "And you shouldn't be blaming yourself for anything."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore, Merlin. Can we please not do this?"

"I'm sorry," he murmured, averting his gaze to the floor, "I just… it didn't feel too great, seeing you that way. I may not know the full story, but… I didn't like seeing you so hurt."

The ward was a little taken aback by the genuine sincerity in his voice. It wasn't often someone other than Arthur or Gwen showed this attitude towards her. It was nice to hear it from someone else- from Merlin. She didn't speak just yet. Instead, she took what could be counted as her hundredth deep breath. _Then_, she replied. "It was because of Uther."

Merlin took the opportunity to edge a little closer to her. "What did Uther say? Or do?"

Oh, plenty. But we're still on what happened today. "He has invited a man named Bayard from Mercia," Morgana continued, keeping her cool, "Bayard and my father were allies in the rebellion against the king. I think by now you know that my father has been exiled and I have remained Uther's ward for many years now."

"He seeks peace with Bayard but continues to punish your father," Merlin finished for her. Morgana nodded her head slowly, glad he caught on. It was too painful to say that one bit, because it only added emphasis to the reality of her situation.

"Arthur told me on the ride this morning, and I- wasn't thinking straight. I rode back immediately and barged in on Uther's council, yelling at him. And when Arthur was scolding me for running off… I was just so angry, Merlin. It was like he didn't even realize how truly shaken I was by all of this." Morgana didn't stop herself. Everything cascaded out of her mouth like water being poured out of a pitcher. "I know Arthur feels down, I know he shouldn't blame himself… but it's not my fault. I've had enough. I have a right to express how I'm really feeling because no one else seems to notice that I'm completely… completely…"

Morgana turned her back to Merlin and pressed a hand to her mouth, refusing to let any sobs escape her lips. But the tears, they flowed freely. _Oh God, woman. You're crying in front the prince's servant. Stop that now. Stop it._ She tried to but it became rather difficult when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her and she turned to see Merlin hugging her to him. Without a second thought, her hand left her mouth and grabbed his shirt, sniffling. It didn't feel like he was pitying her; just being comforting. And she appreciated it very much.

"Come on now," he whispered gently, "Let it out. Just let it all out, my lady." _My lady_. Those two words could not sound more laughable at this precise moment. The elegant and poised Lady Morgana was crying into the arms of a serving boy. Wish they could see her now, in all her glory. Merlin would be the only one still calling her "my lady."

The woman wiped the last of her tears and lifted her head up to meet his eyes. "Why are you so good to me?" she said in a barely audible voice, "I haven't been kind to you at all and yet you're still here. Why?"

A smile tugged at one corner of Merlin's mouth. "I guess there's a lot about me you've yet to know about."

Morgana couldn't believe it but she was actually smiling. "I suppose so." Suddenly remembering what was happening, she slowly removed himself from his arms, eyes glued to the floor, face burning. Merlin let his arms hang at sides, waiting for her next move. Right now, Morgana just wanted the fast thumping of her heart to slow down.

"Thank you, Merlin," she said gratefully, smiling back up at him. "I can't tell you how good it feels to let out what I'm keeping in. I am sorry if I put you in an awkward position-"

"Don't say that," Merlin interrupted, "I mean… nothing makes me happier knowing that you may be starting to trust me. At least a little."

"Strangely, Merlin, I feel as though I have no reason to not trust you," Morgana admitted, "I may not know you well, yet… there is a small connection. It feels good to have another friend, one who I can confide in when I need it. I thank you for that."

It didn't take long for Morgana to notice the slight shift in expression on Merlin's face. It faded into something more serious, secretive somehow, like he had knowledge of something that he couldn't share with her. She frowned a little but he opened his mouth before she did. "Something has happened to me, Lady Morgana." _So you say every time you come to my door._ _Except this time, you have the chance to tell me what's happened to you._

"Well, it's only fair that both sides share something. And you've been wanting to for a long time."

"I don't really know how to start… it's… it's quite complex…" Merlin appeared nervous and started to fumble a bit, reaching up and touching the back of his head. He started pacing and Morgana eyed him, humored at the fact that it was now Merlin who was anxious and not her.

"The beginning seems to be a good place to start," she advised, hoping he caught on with her little joke. What came next took her by surprise.

"Can I trust you, Morgana?" Merlin's question was not a simple one. Morgana started to seriously consider if she should answer yes or no. She thought herself to be trustworthy. Anyone who came to her with a secret, they could count on her to keep her lips sealed. But there were exceptions, that she recently was thinking about; what if it was a dangerous secret? What if it could potentially spiral out of control and lead to destruction? Was it even possible that Merlin had secret that could endanger her life and those of the ones she loved? Judging by how this had been bothering him and how he wanted her to hear what he had to say… keeping his secret would be a more difficult task than Merlin keeping hers. And so Morgana chose to say yes; she wanted nothing more than for Merlin to be able to confide in her the way she felt she could with him.

"You can," Morgana answered with a single nod.

The boy looked a little relieved then. "That's good to hear, because the things I'm about to say are going to sound so warped and unbelievable that you might think I'm pulling your leg. But I won't be because I would never lie to you."

Morgana's heart swelled a little. Genuinely spoken words like that could very easily make her feel touched. "What is it, Merlin? What has happened to you?"

"Let me ask you something. Have you ever felt like the things that happened to you in your life meant more than you thought they did?" He had stopped pacing and stood in front of her. Morgana had wanted to say no to that, but when she deeply thought about it… perhaps it was more possible than she had previously thought. And then it hit her; her nightmares. The vision-like dreams that haunted her at night. All her life, she knew they held more meaning than simply being nightmares. But would he believe her even for one minute? Even when she told Merlin he had been in her dreams?

"It's plausible," was her response.

"For example?" Merlin pressed further.

Morgana hesitated. "My dreams," she confessed, "You would know by now that I have trouble sleeping. And that is because I have dreams, every night. And they show terrible things, so vividly real, that… one would think it had actually happened. Or is going to happen."

"Like… predicting the future?" the servant took a guess.

"Yes… like predicting the future. But, it's ridiculous," Morgana dismissed, "I'm sure everyone experiences nightmares like that." The ward didn't know who she was trying to full, because she highly doubted it would work on Merlin.

"Everything that you've dreamt of, has any of it actually occurred in real life?" Merlin asked, his interest in her piquing. He seemed to have forgotten that he was the one who had something to say, not her. This put Morgana in a tough position. To tell or not to tell Merlin that she had dreamt of him arriving in Camelot… the only dream that wasn't a nightmare.

Morgana shifted uncomfortably. "Maybe…"

"No, not maybe. Has it?" What was he getting at? How did it have any connection to what had happened to him? "_Has it_?"

"Merlin, I-" Morgana was interrupted by two quick knocks on the door. The timing could not have been more terrible.

"Oh, you're just messing with me now," Merlin groaned, glaring up at the ceiling. "Morgana, can you please-"

"Wait," the woman hushed, waving her hands for him to hide out of sight. She hurried over to the chamber doors and opened one of them just enough so she could be seen, not much behind Morgana relaxed once she saw Gwaine smiling good-naturedly at her.

"My lady," he bowed his head a little. "Sorry to bother you at this time."

"It's not a problem, Gwaine, always a pleasure," she said, smiling in return, "What can I do for you?"

"The king wishes to see you in his chambers before dinner." The color drained from Morgana's face. Gwaine's smile did not meet his eyes. He knew all too well of Uther's less-than-pleasant attitude towards her.

She should have seen this coming. She was definitely in trouble.

* * *

**A/N: Chapters eight and nine are broken into two parts because they are both from Morgana's POV. The next chapter will open with Merlin's perspective and start to follow the plot of The Poisoned Chalice (1x04), with an original twist. 'Twas very sweet, writing the interaction between our future lovers'. I wonder what will happen once Arthur starts noticing the connection growing between Merlin and Morgana…**

_**Grazie per li vostri revisioni! Per favore continua sciverele!  
**_**(Thank you for your reviews! Please continue to write them!)**


	10. Poison Is A Woman's Weapon

**Chapter 10**

So close. He had been so damn close. And the opportunity was lost in a matter of seconds.

After Gwaine had delivered the message, Morgana had apologized but she had to go see Uther, having angered him enough with her so-called attitude. Merlin wanted to argue against it, tell her to go after he shared his news with her. But it wasn't right. Morgana should not have to go to the king, knowing some deep, dark secrets. With the day she had been having, it was only possible she would say something to Uther that could land the both of them in some serious trouble. And Merlin was trying his best to stay out of that. So he let her go without any attempt to change the ward's mind. He waited about a minute or so after she left and peeked out her chamber doors, looking left and right for any signs of guards, Gwaine, or worst of them all- _Prince Clotpole_. Oh wait, he meant Arthur. Merlin was creative with insults masked as nicknames and Arthur was one hell of a target for them.

He didn't know where exactly he was going but he walked down the hall anyway. Merlin could go back to Gaius's chambers, but then he would be required to do some chores, or be made to share why he looked so frustrated. He could head over to Arthur's, but that would mean double the chores and no care whatsoever that he was in a bad mood. Well, it was a bit of an exaggeration. The two had gotten used to being around each other rather constantly. One would think they were practically joined at the hip. Merlin wouldn't admit it out loud for everyone to know, but Arthur had moments where he expressed a sort of fondness for him. And (again, no announcing it to the world), Merlin expressed the same for Arthur. It wasn't just the "destiny" the dragon told him about- even if it did play a big part.

"There you are!" _Speaking of the prince!_ Merlin stopped short, hearing Arthur call behind him. He turned around slowly to face his master. Arthur was striding towards him, looking like it was urgent he find his servant at this very time.

"Yes, here I am," Merlin replied, holding his hands out as if to present himself. "And here _you _are, sire."

Arthur stopped in front of him and shot that same look that was exclusively for whenever he interacted with Merlin. "Where have you been? My armor needs polishing and my chambers are a mess." The prince crossed his arms.

Merlin didn't stutter this time as he spoke the lie once more. "I told you, I was running an errand for Gaius."

"Ah yes." Arthur wasn't quite convinced. "I remember that. In fact, I was just speaking with Gaius and he happened to tell me that you were running that errand for me. When in fact, I never gave you such a task." A smirk was playing on Arthur's mouth and Merlin knew he was caught. His face burned up and ended up stumbling on his words. "I'm not often this easygoing with people who laze off, Merlin. What have you got to say for yourself?"

"Well… you see, sire… I…" _Come on, idiot! You're good at coming up with lies!_ Merlin crossed his hands behind his back, his mind blanking out on him. Figures. At the time he needed to most, he couldn't lie. Then suddenly… "I was looking for Guinevere!"

Arthur looked a little confused. "Guinevere. You were looking for Guinevere."

"Yes, yes I was! No harm in that! No big deal, just serving boy to serving girl…" _Not one of your best excuses…_

"Merlin, I get the feeling you're still lying to me. What's so important that you had to find Guinevere?"

_Damn it, Arthur. _"Just, uh, needed to give her something, is all," Merlin shrugged, playing it cool. The prince stayed confused until his expression changed again, to one of amusement. "Ahhhh… I see what's going on here."

It was Merlin's turn to be puzzled. "You do?" Because he sure as hell didn't…

Arthur pointed a finger at him, holding back a chuckle. "You thought you could keep it from me this long! Enough with the act, Merlin, I know exactly what you've been up to these days, when you're late or when you're sneaking off!"

Merlin worked his hardest not to let his expression give anything away. Arthur couldn't possibly be talking about his attempts to speak to Morgana… could he? He sounded so calm, so playful, like he was teasing him. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, sire."

"You like Gwen!" Arthur answered triumphantly. At his answer, Merlin's eyes widened and his face flushed a deep scarlet. Of all conclusions to come to, this was thankfully the farthest the prince could reach. It was so surprising, that Merlin's reaction made it seem like Arthur had hit the nail on the head. "_What_? No, no, sire, it's not what you think!"

"Don't worry, Merlin, your secret is safe with me," Arthur promised, grinning at his servant like he figured it all out.

"My lord, you've got it all wrong," Merlin tried to change his mind. He didn't want Arthur to know the truth- but he didn't trust the prince enough to keep this lie to himself. What if he told his friends? Or Gaius? Or worst of all, Morgana?

"I'll take it to my grave, unless you decide to declare it to everyone in the city and beyond." Arthur tapped a finger to his lips, as if to say his lips were sealed. Still grinning, he turned to walk the other way, reminding Merlin that his love for Gwen was not about to excuse him from doing his duties. Merlin threw his hands up in frustration. Today was not going the way he wanted to, like most days. It was as if the universe was making it hard for him on purpose, waiting for him to lose it and tell everyone his secrets. His _real_ secrets, not the ones Arthur thought was hiding. Merlin followed Arthur to his chambers to get started on his new chores. Polishing armor and cleaning chambers would be able to take his mind off the more complex problems he dealt with. To his relief, Arthur didn't bring up Merlin's "crush" on Gwen while he worked. In fact, he was silent compared to a few minutes earlier. Merlin almost preferred him talking than staying quiet.

"You seem distracted," he spoke up, glancing up at the prince before turning back to polishing. Arthur sat in his chair, playing with the quill in his hand. The sound of Merlin's voice snapped him out of his private thoughts and he dropped the quill. Hastily, he bent down to pick it up. "I'm fine," he replied, "Just thinking, is all."

Now would have been a good time to crack a joke, but judging from the look on Arthur's face, it wouldn't be taken lightly. Merlin looked up at him, debating on whether or not he should take a guess as to what was bothering him. "Is it Morgana?" He had to say it. Morgana was a common worry between the two of them, though Arthur did not have to know that.

Arthur cast a sharp look at Merlin. "I don't think it's any of your concern, _Mer_lin. I am the prince of Camelot, I have many important matters to think about, and I do not have to discuss them with _you_."

"I was just asking," the warlock muttered, returning to the rag and armor. "But yes," Arthur sighed, "It is Morgana." He placed his elbows on the table and leaned forward. "I can't remember the last time it wasn't about her."

"You're worried," Merlin noted.

"I'm angry with myself. We were having a nice day and I had to ruin it. I should know well by now that there are certain topics to be brought up carefully with Morgana. She's sensitive, and rightfully so. The least I could do is think of her feelings first." Merlin could practically see the rest of that sentence tumble out of his mouth; _because I don't do much else_. He himself was worried for Morgana. Uther calling her in to talk to her wasn't exactly the most reassuring thing ever. Merlin could clearly notice the negative effect the king had on Morgana and some days, he wished so badly he could speak up. Take action, if he so dared. And what upset him the most was how nobody did _anything_. Not even Arthur, who claimed he cared more for Morgana than anyone else. Still, he was obligated to say, "It's not your fault, sire. There are some things that are out of your hands."

The prince shook his head. "Only because I don't grasp them tightly enough…" They stopped after that. Merlin looked down at the armor in his hands. Arthur wasn't even close to understanding what could happen in the future if this went on. If the bloody Great Dragon said it, it was very likely to happen. Even Morgana didn't know of it. So in reality, Merlin was right. There were some things that were out of Arthur's hands.

They were in his instead.

* * *

There was nothing else on her mind but what would become of her future after visiting the king. Not Arthur, not Merlin, nothing and no one but herself. Morgana told herself to be strong as she went down to Uther's chambers. Hard as it was, she had to try. _I am not weak. I am the daughter of Gorlois Le Fay. I am strong… and if anything, I can scream if he tries to kill me._

She shakily knocked twice on his large doors. Upon hearing the gruff, muffled "Enter" from the king, she opened the doors and walked inside, properly yet cautiously. "You wanted to see me, my lord?"

Uther was sitting at his desk, looking over a mess of parchment. He lifted his eyes to meet those of Morgana. "Ah yes, Morgana. I wanted to speak to you about today." He rose from his chair but before he could do anything else, Morgana immediately started in on the apologies.

"Please forgive me, my lord. I was out of line, I should not have spoken to you that way. It was wrong of me, I did not wish to embarrass you in front of your council," she rambled, not letting him even open his mouth.

"Morgana, please." Uther held up a hand to stop her. "I did not call you hear to scold you for your behavior, neither am I angry at you."

The ward paused and raised an eyebrow questionably. If that was not why she was called in, then why had Uther requested her presence in his chambers?

"I'm afraid Arthur was careless when he told you of Bayard coming to make an alliance with our kingdom," Uther explained, beginning to pace a little. Morgana watched him with careful eyes, staying glued to her spot. "That was something that I wished to bring up with you so that I could fully explain the reasoning behind it."

"And what would that be?" she asked.

"An alliance between my kingdom and Bayard's means the chance to achieve peace between me and your father," Uther continued. He stopped pacing and looked at her expectantly. Morgana knew him well enough and gave nothing away. He wanted her to be excited but he could as well be pulling her leg.

"Bayard knows that we have you, Gorlois's daughter, as our ward, while he is in exile. When we become allies, we can work towards bringing Gorlois back home and creating peace between our two kingdoms," the king went on, "So you see, Morgana, my aim was not to punish your father any further, nor to anger you. I am working towards getting Gorlois back home. A treaty between our three kingdoms will work towards a better future for all of us. Bayard is just the first king. Gorlois is the next."

"You are saying," Morgana started slowly, "That after Bayard comes to visit Camelot… you would bring my father back?" Was he telling the truth? Was he really going to bring her father back from exile? She could see him again?

Uther was smiling at her growing excitement. "I keep my promises, Morgana. I intend to keep this one."

"Oh, my lord, I… I don't know what to say!" Morgana yelped in happiness, a smile stretching across her face, the first time she ever smiled for real for Uther. "When will you do it? When can I see my father again?"

"As soon as our peace is made with Bayard." Uther went to sit back down at his table. He motioned towards the door. "Go on, then. You are dismissed!"

Morgana thanked him again and left the room quickly, feeling her spirits lift. It had to be true- Uther was going to free her father and her. They could go home, they could be a family again. She'd start eating again and go back to being happy and healthy. And Bayard was coming rather soon! And though a small part of the ward nagged at her, telling her it was all a lie, Morgana's optimism was positively overflowing. Now all she had to do was make sure that things would go smoothly with the kings. It wasn't her job, but she would take it upon herself if it meant Gorlois's freedom.

When the day of Bayard's expected arrival came, every single person in the castle was put to work. Servants made preparations for guests, the women down in the kitchens cooked up a feast fit to feed the entire city, and Arthur and Morgana spent extra time than usual on their looks. It had been insisted upon by Uther to make a good impression, even to men he had once considered his enemies.

Gwen drew her a bath as Morgana picked out her favorite blue and purple gown. After the bath, she brushed her hair and let it fall in waves down her back, then applied a generous amount of makeup. Gwen watched her as she put her jewelry on.

"You look very lovely, my lady," the serving girl commented, smiling at her. "And you seem to be in a better mood these days."

Morgana smiled back, looking at Gwen's reflection from her mirror. "Things are finally starting to look up, Gwen. That is why." All that had been on the woman's mind was her father. In fact, she had almost forgotten that Merlin still had to tell her something very important. But Morgana figured it could wait until after Bayard and Uther signed the treaty and Gorlois was guaranteed to be freed.

That evening, Morgana sat at her usual spot in the dining hall, surrounded by the men and servants of both royal houses. She watched as Bayard picked up the quill and leaned down to scribble his signature. Her eyes scanned the room till they spotted Merlin standing next to Gwen, wearing what Arthur called the "official ceremonial robes of Camelot." It was really just a ridiculous red cape and a large, feathery hat that made Merlin look about as official as a court jester. She bit her lip to keep from giggling when she saw Merlin shoot Arthur a look and the prince send him a knowing smile in return. It made Morgana a little happy that the two were getting along so well. A few weeks ago, they had been at each other's throats and everything seemed fine now.

Bayard put the quill down and then it was Uther's turn. Morgana looked back to Merlin to see his eyes were on someone else. She subtly followed his gaze to a serving girl of Bayard's, her hair wrapped in a cloth with a few pieces fall into her face. Her eyes were a striking blue as they met Merlin's. He took his hat off and ruffled his hair a bit. Morgana felt her muscles tense when a smile rose to Merlin's lips. Since when did he taking a liking to girls he didn't know? She wasn't even that pretty…

Morgana tuned in to the clapping in the room and joined, watching the two kings grip arms. Uther took his seat next to the ward as Bayard began a speech. "People of Camelot," he started, "For a great many years, we have been mortal enemies. The blood of our men stains from the walls of Camelot to the gates of Mercier. And though we remember those who have died, we must not let anymore to join them." Another serving girl came to Bayard's side with a large box in her arms. Morgana distractedly looked towards the blue-eyed girl and noticed her watching the box carefully with a strange expression on her face. Like she was expecting something to come out of there.

"As a symbol of our good will," Bayard continued, opening the box, "And our newfound friendship, I present these ceremonial goblets to you, Uther…" he showed the king the first silver goblet. "And to your son, Arthur, and your ward, the Lady Morgana. In the hope that our friendship may last." Arthur and Uther looked to Morgana, surprised that Bayard had acknowledged her presence. A man who had betrayed her own father and played a small role in his exile had nerve to buy her respect with a silver goblet. Nevertheless, Morgana accepted it, as it would be improper to show any signs of anger.

Bayard came forward to hand them their new gifts and Morgana smiled appreciatively. The king took one look at her and said, "And I shall add, it is my hope that your father shall be freed soon and no more tensions shall arise between our kingdoms." Uther stiffened next to her and cleared his throat. Morgana merely uttered a quiet "thank you" and took the goblet. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the serving girl go frantically to Merlin and the two leave the dining hall together. The corners of her mouth tugged into a small frown. Just where were they going and when did they have time to get acquainted? It shocked Morgana when she realized that her tense muscles were a result of a little jealousy. Yet, why was she jealous?

Servants came to pour wine into their brand new goblets, and everyone in the hall rose to their feet, drinks in hand. Bayard finished his speech by toasting the king, prince, and ward and to all the men and people of their two kingdoms. As soon as he finished speaking, Morgana slowly lifted the cup to her lips and was about to take a sip…

"_Stop_!" Before Morgana could taste the wine, she heard a voice all too familiar to her ears now. "Don't drink it!" Merlin clambered into the room and snatched the goblet from Morgana's hand so fast, she almost didn't feel it. She widened her eyes at the servant, unable to form words with her mouth.

"What?" Uther snapped, glaring at Merlin.

"_Merlin_!" Arthur exclaimed, looking about ready to strangle Merlin with the strings on his robes, "_What_ are you _doing_?"

Merlin was breathing heavily, the drinking still in his hand. The room had gone dead quiet, all eyes on him. He slowly turned to glance at the other king. "Bayard laced the Lady Morgana's goblet with poison," he announced. Morgana stared at him, mouth dropping slightly open. _What did he just say?_

"This is an outrage!" Bayard shouted, reaching for his sword. Promptly, every Camelot and Mercier knight pulled theirs out and pointed them at each other on opposing sides of the dining hall.

"Order your men to put down their swords," Uther commanded, "You're outnumbered."

Bayard turned his head to look around, seeing that what Uther had said was true. A look of fear crossed his face but he kept still, his breathing coming out unevenly. Eyes shooting daggers at Merlin, he shouted, "I will not allow this insult to go unchallenged!"

Uther turned back to the boy. "On what grounds do you base this accusation?" Morgana watched him, waiting for an answer. What on Earth gave Merlin the idea that Bayard would poison her cup?

"I'll handle this," Arthur interrupted through clenched teeth, stepping away from the table and stomping towards Merlin. "Merlin, you _idiot._ You've been at the gin again…" Arthur grabbed the cup from the servant and handed it back to Morgana who just looked at it. She debated on whether or not she should take it, trying to avoid the way Merlin was eyeing her now.

"It was seen being laced," Merlin insisted, looking intently at the king.

"By who?" Uther questioned.

Merlin paused. "I can't say…" Morgana's eyes flickered towards the girl who Merlin left the dining hall with for a quick second before turning back. Oh yes… something very odd was going on here…

"I will not listen to this," Bayard growling, shaking at the sight of swords pointed at him.

Uther said nothing. He took the goblet from Arthur's hand and walked towards the other king. "If you're telling the truth, then you have nothing to fear." Bayard tucked the sword back to his hip and stuck a hand out, motioning for him to pass the cup.

"No," Uther decided, "If this does prove to be poison, I want the pleasure of killing you myself." Turning his back to Bayard, he gave the cup to Merlin. "Here, drink it."

Morgana couldn't stop herself. "But if it is poison, he'll die!" she exclaimed, stepping away from the table and walking towards them. All gazes were on her now, but she ignored everyone else and pleaded with Uther silently. Merlin may have been clumsy in how he brought up his accusation, but… what if he was right? And if he was, he would die. Morgana could not let that happen.

"Then we will know he was telling the truth," Uther responded simply. Merlin reluctantly took the goblet from the king.

"And what if he lives?" Bayard jumped in.

"Then you have my apologies and you can do with him as you wish."

"My lord, _please_," Morgana begged, stepping in front of Arthur, "Don't make him do it."

"Stay out of this, Morgana," Arthur said quietly, pulling her back.

"Merlin," the ward snapped, shoving Arthur back. "Apologize, this is mistake!" She shot a glare at him. But he didn't budge whatsoever. Without thinking, Morgana reached for the cup. "I'll drink it."

"No, no, no!" Merlin refused, holding his arms up to block her grip. Morgana was about to reach for him again when she felt Arthur's arms grab her and hold her back once more. _He's out of his mind. He's going to die. Oh my God, he's going to die… just to save me. _Merlin looked back at her the way did whenever they were together. An expression that she couldn't quite decipher. Lords above forbid it would be the last time he would look at her this way.

Merlin looked to Bayard and held the cup as if to toast him. He turned to Arthur and then to Morgana and shakily lifted the cup to his lips and took a sip. The pounding in Morgana's chest was so fierce, she was sure that everyone in the room could hear it. Silently, she thanked Arthur for holding her back. If he hadn't, she might as well have collapsed right then and there.

The serving boy paused for a moment, glanced at Bayard, then back at Arthur. "It's fine," he finally said. A sigh of relief escaped Morgana's mouth and she released herself from the prince's grip. Everyone else did the same and took their seats. "He's all yours," Uther permitted to Bayard. Morgana was happy that Merlin was fine, but she was going to have serious, _serious_ talk with him once the Mercier king was finished.

Then suddenly, Merlin started clutching his throat, coughing. His face wrinkled and he coughed a few more times before crippling to the ground, unconscious.

* * *

**A/N: It's been too long, readers. Updates will be regular from now on. Hope your holidays had been wonderful and looking forward to a new year with you all. Feels good to be back!**

**Reviews are greatly appreciated. Cheers!**


	11. Damn The Consequences, Part I

**Chapter 11**

**A/N: I know, I know, I'm absolutely terrible for saying I was back and then breaking that promise. The end of **_**Merlin**_** left me in such a state of sadness, I could not bring myself to continue with any of my stories. But I can't just leave my work unfinished; at least this way, there's still some **_**Merlin**_** in my life. Apologies for being gone so long and even more so if my writing comes off a bit rusty as I haven't in a while. Please enjoy this quick teaser for what's to come and I swear I won't leave again! xx**

* * *

"It was poison!" Uther yelled out. Shouting and the sounds of swords being drawn out filled the air as Camelot's men targeted Bayard and his knights. The Mercier king held up a palm, a look of fear crossing his face. None of his knights fought back, as if to surrender so quickly. Morgana, eyes wide and utterly horrified, yanked free from Arthur and dropped to her knees by Merlin's side. She ignored the commotion around her, panicking and near tears as she scanned Merlin's unconscious body. _Oh Gods, this isn't happening… this isn't happening…_

"Here!" Morgana nearly jumped, she had been so focused on the serving boy, she hadn't noticed that Gaius was promptly at Merlin's other side. The court physician went to work right away, pressing a hand to his forehead. "Merlin? Merlin can you hear me?"

"Is he still alive?" Morgana asked shakily, turning to look at the old man. Gaius did not answer right away. "Can he make it? Can you save him?"

"We need to bring him back to my chambers," the old man answered. Right away, Arthur came between the two, leaning down and grabbing Merlin by his arms and pulling him up. "Bring the goblet," Gaius ordered, "We need to identify the poison." Morgana did not need to be told twice. She swiftly grabbed the chalice and made to follow the other three to Gaius's chambers.

Before she could get any further past the king, Uther thrust an arm out and stopped her. "Morgana, where do you think _you_ are going?" He sounded surprisingly calm for someone who made his son's manservant drink a cupful of poison. In fact, he didn't even care that Merlin was on the brink of death; just that he was granted with the opportunity to kill more men this time around. His knights had wasted no time in seizing Bayard and his men.

"I need to make sure he is alright," Morgana responded, trying to tug free from his grip but the king held on. "_My lord_," she begged, a twinge of desperation on her voice, "That would have been me a few seconds ago and Merlin risked his own life."

"Gaius will take care of it," Uther insisted. "You stay safe here, where I can see you." He motioned for her to hand over the goblet. "Give this to your serving girl to take to Gaius." Behind them stood Gwen, frozen at her spot, looking from Morgana to Uther. For a split second, the ward weighed out her options. There were many choices she could make right now. She could listen to him and give the chalice to Gwen. Or she could take the risk and defy him and go to Merlin. Whatever the choice, it was going to end badly for her, in one way or another. _To be good and do as she was told? Or go to the boy who was lying on his deathbed for her, despite the consequences of ignoring orders?_

"_Morgana_," Uther pressed in his razor-sharp voice, "Give your serving girl the chalice." At that moment, Morgana dropped all intention of staying on Uther's good side.

"_No_," Morgana snapped, breaking free from the king. "He needs me." Without another glance at the shock and anger on Uther's face, she turned and ran to Gaius's chambers, Gwen trailing after her. _Damn the consequences,_ she thought to herself, _I have too much heart to do as I am told by a man who has none._

* * *

**A/N: I know it was short, but as I said, it was only a teaser! I didn't want to keep you waiting too long for a full update plus the next chapter is going to be quite long. I'm back, I promise. Major grazie to those who still read and still left reviews during my long disappearance. More to come and cheers!  
**


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